IELTS.international
Advantages-Disadvantagesacademic·2023

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware of this. Do the advantages of monitoring people's actions outweigh the disadvantages?

**ቢያንስ 250 ቃላት** ጻፍ። ~40 ደቂቃ ውሰድ። ይህ እውነተኛ IELTS ፈተና ዓይነት ጥያቄ ነው።

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Step 1

IELTS ፈታኝ ምክሮች ለዚህ ርዕስ

1

Structure your essay with one dedicated body paragraph for the advantages of technological monitoring and another for its disadvantages. Crucially, since the question asks 'Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?', you must take a clear position in your introduction and maintain it throughout, reinforcing it in your conclusion.

2

For advantages, consider how surveillance aids law enforcement, citing examples like preventing terrorist attacks (e.g., London's extensive CCTV network) or solving crimes more efficiently. For disadvantages, discuss the erosion of privacy and potential for misuse, perhaps mentioning government surveillance programs like the NSA's PRISM or the social credit system in China as extreme examples of data collection without consent.

3

A common mistake is discussing technology in general terms without linking it specifically to monitoring people's actions or addressing the 'unaware' aspect. Avoid this by consistently connecting your points back to surveillance technology (e.g., AI facial recognition, data mining) and its implications for individual privacy versus collective security, ensuring the 'unaware' element is woven into your disadvantage arguments.

4

To effectively transition between discussing advantages and disadvantages, use contrastive linking phrases. For example, after detailing the benefits, you could introduce the counter-arguments with 'However, these benefits must be weighed against significant ethical concerns' or 'While the aforementioned advantages are compelling, the drawbacks associated with pervasive monitoring are equally profound.'

5

Examiners look for a nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexity of balancing security with individual liberty, rather than a simplistic 'good vs. bad' approach. A band 8-9 response will demonstrate sophisticated vocabulary related to surveillance and ethics, present well-developed arguments with specific examples, and maintain a consistent, well-supported position on whether the advantages truly outweigh the disadvantages.

Step 2

የሚመከር የድርሰት አወቃቀር (Band 7+ ደረጃ)

1
መግቢያ

ወዲያውኑ ፈታኙን ትኩረት ስቦ አቋምህን አሳይ።

  • ጥያቄውን በጠንካራ ተመሳሳይ ቃላት ደግምው — ቃላቱን ቀጥተኛ አትቅዳ
  • አስተያየትህን በመጨረሻው ዓረፍተ ነገር ግልጽ አድርግ — ምንም ጥርጣሬ አይኑር
  • አጭር አድርገው፡ ከ2-3 ዓረፍተ ነገሮች አይበልጥ። እያንዳንዱ ቃል ዋጋ ሊኖረው ይገባል።

Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
አካል አንቀጽ 1 — በጣም ጠንካራ ክርክርህ

በማይካድ ማስረጃ ጠንካራ ሙግት አቅርብ።

  • በኃይለኛ ርዕሰ ዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምር — ክርክርህን ደፍሮ ግለጽ
  • በተጨባጭ ማስረጃ ደግፍ፡ ስታቲስቲክስ፣ የገሃዱ ዓለም ምሳሌዎች፣ ወይም የባለሙያ ጥናት
  • ማስረጃህ ነጥብህን እንዴት እንደሚያረጋግጥ ግልጽ አድርግ — ፈታኙ ግንኙነቱን እንዲረዳ አገናኝ

Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
አካል አንቀጽ 2 — ተጨማሪ ክርክር

አቋምህን ከሌላ አቅጣጫ ደግፍ።

  • የተለየ አቅጣጫ ምረጥ — አንቀጽ 1 ኢኮኖሚያዊ ከሆነ፣ ማህበራዊ፣ አካባቢያዊ ወይም ሥነ ምግባራዊ ሞክር
  • አዲስ ማስረጃ ተጠቀም — ተመሳሳይ ምሳሌ ወይም ምክንያት አትደግም
  • ከዋና ሃሳብህ ጋር ግልጽ አገናኝ — ይህ አጠቃላይ አቋምህን እንዴት እንደሚያጠናክር አሳይ

Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
ማጠቃለያ

በልበ ሙሉነት እና በሚታወስ ሃሳብ ጥሩ ስሜት ትተህ ጨርስ።

  • አዲስ ሃሳብ አታስገባ — ይህ የመጨረሻ ማጠቃለያህ ነው
  • አቋምህን ከመግቢያው የበለጠ ጠንካራ ቃላት ተጠቅሞ ድገምው
  • ኃይለኛ አድርገው፡ ከ2 ዓረፍተ ነገሮች አይበልጥ። በእምነት ጨርስ።

Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

ከፍተኛ ውጤት የሚያስገኙ ቃላት እና ሐረጎች

Pervasive surveillanceThe widespread and constant monitoring of individuals, often without their explicit consent.
Digital footprintThe trail of data left by an individual's online activities.
Erosion of privacyThe gradual diminishing or destruction of an individual's right to keep personal information private.
It is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
A compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive reason or point of view.
This notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based on or depends on a particular assumption or principle.
From my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal viewpoint or opinion.
The evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase used to indicate that the majority of facts or data strongly support a particular conclusion.
NotwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
It could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a possible point of view or argument, often to acknowledge complexity or present a counter-argument.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

ጭማሬ

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

ቅራኔ

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

ምክንያት / ውጤት

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

ምሳሌ

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

ስምምነት ወዳለ አቅጣጫ

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

የስምምነት ዓረፍተ ነገር

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

ከፍተኛ ሰዋሰዋዊ ቁጥጥር ያሳያል። 'Although' ብለህ ጀምር — ተቃራኒ ሃሳብ አምጣ፣ ከዚያ አቋምህን ግለጽ — ጥልቅ አስተሳሰብ ያሳያል።

ሁኔታዊ ዓረፍተ ነገር (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

ለምናባዊ ሁኔታዎችና መፍትሔዎች ጥሩ ነው። 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — ተለዋዋጭነት ያሳያል።

ለacademic ቃና Passive ተጠቀም

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing passive ዓረፍተ ነገሮችን ይመርጣል። 'It is + past participle + that' — ስልጣናዊና ገለልተኛ ቃና ይሰጣል።

አንጻራዊ ዓረፍተ ነገር

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

ውስብስብ ሳይሆን ብቃትን ያሳያል። ለሰዎች 'who'፣ ለነገሮች 'which'፣ ለሁለቱም 'that' ተጠቀም።

ጥቅጥቅ ለማለት የስም ሐረግ

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

በጥቂት ቃላት ብዙ መረጃ ያስተላልፋል። 'The implementation of effective policies' እና 'policies are implemented effectively' ይወዳደሩ — Lexical Resource ውጤትን ያሻሽላል።

Step 6

Band 9 ናሙና መልስ (ሙሉ ምዘና)

ሙሉ ናሙና መልሱን እና የፈታኝ አስተያየቶችን ለማየት በነፃ ይመዝገቡ።

ሙሉ ናሙና መልስ ይመልከቱ — በነፃ ይመዝገቡ

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ኦፊሴላዊ IELTS የመልስ ወረቀት ያውርዱ (PDF)

እያንዳንዱ ድርሰት እውነተኛ የእንግሊዝኛ ችሎታዎን እና የፈተና እምነትዎን ይገነባል

ዝርዝር፣ መስፈርት-በ-መስፈርት ግብረ-መልስ ያግኙ። በብዙ ድርሰቶች ላይ ሂደቶን ይከታተሉ። IELTS Writing Task 2 ይቆጣጠሩ — ለፈተናው ብቻ ሳይሆን ለሕይወትዎ ሁሉ።

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