Some say that because many people are living much longer, the retirement age should be raised. Others argue that older people should be allowed to retire earlier. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Note: education context in some recalls)
**ቢያንስ 250 ቃላት** ጻፍ። ~40 ደቂቃ ውሰድ። ይህ እውነተኛ IELTS ፈተና ዓይነት ጥያቄ ነው።
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Step 1
IELTS ፈታኝ ምክሮች ለዚህ ርዕስ
For this discussion essay, ensure you dedicate a distinct body paragraph to each side of the argument: one for raising the retirement age and another for earlier retirement. Avoid the common pitfall of heavily favoring one side throughout the essay before the conclusion, as this undermines the 'discuss both views' requirement.
When discussing raising the retirement age, consider arguments like the fiscal strain on national pension schemes due to increased life expectancy, as seen in countries like Japan or Germany. For earlier retirement, you could mention the need to create job opportunities for younger generations or the potential for older workers to contribute to society in new ways post-retirement.
A frequent error on this question is failing to adequately connect the premise of 'living much longer' to the arguments for raising the retirement age. Students often jump directly into economic arguments without explicitly linking them to demographic shifts, so ensure you establish this causal relationship clearly in your first body paragraph.
To transition smoothly between discussing the two opposing views, use phrases like 'Conversely,' 'On the other hand,' or 'While the aforementioned arguments advocate for a later retirement, proponents of earlier retirement contend that...' This clearly signals to the examiner that you are shifting focus to the alternative perspective.
For a band 8-9, examiners look for a nuanced discussion that explores the socio-economic implications of both views, not just stating them. This includes demonstrating an understanding of concepts like demographic shifts, fiscal sustainability of pension systems, and intergenerational equity, all while maintaining a consistent and well-supported personal opinion.
Step 2
የሚመከር የድርሰት አወቃቀር (Band 7+ ደረጃ)
1መግቢያ
ሁለቱን ወገኖች ፍትሃዊ በሆነ መንገድ አቅርቦ አቋምህን አሳይ።
- ሁለቱንም አመለካከቶች መረዳትህን አሳይ — ይህ ወሳኝ አስተሳሰብህን ያሳያል
- ወደ የት እንደምትደግፍ ግለጽ — ሁለቱን እኩል ብትዳስስም
- academic ቃና ጠብቅ — ስሜታዊ ቋንቋ ወይም አድልዎ ያስወግዱ
Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች
There are differing opinions on whether...While some people believe that..., others argue that...This essay will examine both perspectives before reaching a conclusion.2አካል አንቀጽ 1 — የመጀመሪያ አመለካከት
አንድ ወገን በአክብሮት እና በአሳማኝ መንገድ አቅርብ።
- ባትስማማም፣ ይህን አመለካከት በእውነተኛ ምሳሌ ቀጥተኛ አቅርብ
- academic የሪፖርት ቋንቋ ተጠቀም፡ 'Research indicates...', 'Studies show...', 'Experts argue...'
- ጠንካራ ነጥቦቹን አምን — ይህ ሚዛናዊ ትንተናህን ያሳያል እና ነጥብ ያስገኛል
Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች
On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that...Those in favour point out that...A key argument for this position is...3አካል አንቀጽ 2 — ተቃራኒ አመለካከት
የተቃራኒውን አስተያየት በተመሳሳይ ጥልቀትና ብቃት አቅርብ።
- የአንደኛውን አንቀጽ መዋቅርና ጥልቀት አዛምድ — መርማሪዎች ሁለቱን ያነጻጽራሉ
- እንደ 'Conversely'፣ 'In contrast'፣ 'On the other hand' ያሉ ተቃራኒ ማስተሳሰሪያ ቃላት ተጠቀም
- አስተያየት ካለህ ይህን አንቀጽ ትንሽ አጠናክር — ነገር ግን ፍትሃዊ ሁን
Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች
On the other hand, critics contend that...However, there is a strong counter-argument...Conversely, many people feel that...4ማጠቃለያ
ሁለቱን ሃሳቦች አጣምር፤ ወሳኝ ፍርድህን ግልጽ አድርግ።
- የሁለቱን ወገን ትክክለኛነት አምን — ይህ የአዕምሮ ብስለትህን ያሳያል
- ምርጫህን በግልጽና በእምነት ግለጽ — አትወዛወዝ
- ግልጽ አቋም ያዝ — መርማሪዎች ግልጽነትን ይሸልማሉ
Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች
In conclusion, while both sides have merit, I believe that...Having considered both arguments, it seems that...Step 3
ከፍተኛ ውጤት የሚያስገኙ ቃላት እና ሐረጎች
Step 4
Academic Phrases for This Essay Type
It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignoreጭማሬ
MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is moreቅራኔ
HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConverselyምክንያት / ውጤት
ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads toምሳሌ
For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch asስምምነት ወዳለ አቅጣጫ
AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedlyStep 5
Grammar Patterns for Band 7+
የስምምነት ዓረፍተ ነገር
Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.
ከፍተኛ ሰዋሰዋዊ ቁጥጥር ያሳያል። 'Although' ብለህ ጀምር — ተቃራኒ ሃሳብ አምጣ፣ ከዚያ አቋምህን ግለጽ — ጥልቅ አስተሳሰብ ያሳያል።
ሁኔታዊ ዓረፍተ ነገር (Type 2)
If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.
ለምናባዊ ሁኔታዎችና መፍትሔዎች ጥሩ ነው። 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — ተለዋዋጭነት ያሳያል።
ለacademic ቃና Passive ተጠቀም
It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.
Academic writing passive ዓረፍተ ነገሮችን ይመርጣል። 'It is + past participle + that' — ስልጣናዊና ገለልተኛ ቃና ይሰጣል።
አንጻራዊ ዓረፍተ ነገር
Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.
ውስብስብ ሳይሆን ብቃትን ያሳያል። ለሰዎች 'who'፣ ለነገሮች 'which'፣ ለሁለቱም 'that' ተጠቀም።
ጥቅጥቅ ለማለት የስም ሐረግ
The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.
በጥቂት ቃላት ብዙ መረጃ ያስተላልፋል። 'The implementation of effective policies' እና 'policies are implemented effectively' ይወዳደሩ — Lexical Resource ውጤትን ያሻሽላል።
Step 6
Band 9 ናሙና መልስ (ሙሉ ምዘና)
ሙሉ ናሙና መልሱን እና የፈታኝ አስተያየቶችን ለማየት በነፃ ይመዝገቡ።
ሙሉ ናሙና መልስ ይመልከቱ — በነፃ ይመዝገቡእንደ እውነተኛ IELTS ፈተና ተለማመዱ
ኦፊሴላዊው IELTS Writing የመልስ ወረቀት (PDF) ያውርዱ። ድርሰትዎን በእጅ በተወሰነ ጊዜ ውስጥ ጻፉ — ከዚያ ወዲያውኑ AI ምዘና እና Band ትንበያ ለማግኘት ይጫኑ።
ኦፊሴላዊ IELTS የመልስ ወረቀት ያውርዱ (PDF)እያንዳንዱ ድርሰት እውነተኛ የእንግሊዝኛ ችሎታዎን እና የፈተና እምነትዎን ይገነባል
ዝርዝር፣ መስፈርት-በ-መስፈርት ግብረ-መልስ ያግኙ። በብዙ ድርሰቶች ላይ ሂደቶን ይከታተሉ። IELTS Writing Task 2 ይቆጣጠሩ — ለፈተናው ብቻ ሳይሆን ለሕይወትዎ ሁሉ።
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