IELTS.international
Opinionacademic·2023

Mental health problems are becoming increasingly common among young people. What do you think are the main causes and what solutions can you suggest?

Tulis **minimal 250 kata**. Luangkan waktu ~40 menit. Ini adalah soal ujian IELTS asli.

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Step 1

Tips Penguji IELTS untuk Topik Ini

1

State your clear position in the introduction by explicitly outlining the 2-3 main causes you will discuss and the 2-3 most impactful solutions you will propose. While acknowledging that other factors exist, ensure your essay consistently prioritises and defends your chosen primary causes and solutions, using phrases like 'While X contributes, it is Y that serves as the predominant factor.'

2

For causes, consider specific examples like the pervasive influence of social media platforms (e.g., studies from the Pew Research Center linking screen time to anxiety) or intense academic and economic pressures (e.g., the high-stakes educational systems in East Asian countries). For solutions, you could suggest integrated mental health literacy programs in schools (e.g., models implemented in Australia) or government-subsidised community mental health services.

3

The most common mistake students make on this question is providing a superficial list of many causes and solutions without developing any in depth. To avoid this, select only 2-3 main causes and 2-3 main solutions, dedicating a full body paragraph to each, providing detailed explanations, specific examples, and logical connections to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding.

4

Employ a clear linking strategy by using topic sentences that signpost the paragraph's focus and connect back to your overall argument. For instance, transition from causes to solutions with phrases like 'Having explored the primary drivers of this trend, it is imperative to consider viable remedies,' or 'To mitigate these escalating issues, one crucial step involves...'.

5

For a band 8-9 answer, examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the *interconnectedness* of causes (e.g., how digital pressures exacerbate academic stress) and solutions that are not only practical but also address the *root causes* identified. The essay must demonstrate sophisticated vocabulary related to mental health and societal trends, complex sentence structures, and a consistently clear, well-supported argument throughout.

Step 2

Struktur Esai yang Direkomendasikan (Standar Band 7+)

1
Pendahuluan

Tarik perhatian pemeriksa dan langsung tegaskan posisimu.

  • Ulangi pertanyaan dengan sinonim yang kuat — hindari menyalin kata-kata
  • Nyatakan pendapatmu dengan jelas di kalimat terakhir — jangan ada keraguan
  • Buat singkat: maksimal 2-3 kalimat. Setiap kata harus punya nilai.

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
Paragraf Utama 1 — Argumen Terkuatmu

Sampaikan kasus terbaikmu dengan bukti yang tak terbantahkan.

  • Mulai dengan kalimat topik yang kuat — nyatakan argumenmu dengan berani
  • Dukung dengan bukti konkret: statistik, kasus nyata, atau riset ahli
  • Jelaskan BAGAIMANA buktimu membuktikan poinmu — hubungkan untuk pemeriksa

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
Paragraf Utama 2 — Argumen Pendukung

Perkuat posisimu dengan perspektif pelengkap.

  • Pilih sudut pandang berbeda — jika paragraf 1 ekonomi, coba sosial, lingkungan, atau etika
  • Gunakan bukti baru — hindari mengulang contoh atau alasan yang sama
  • Tautkan kembali ke tesismu dengan jelas — tunjukkan bagaimana ini memperkuat posisi keseluruhan

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
Kesimpulan

Tinggalkan kesan mendalam dengan penutup yang percaya diri dan berkesan.

  • Jangan perkenalkan ide baru — ini adalah ringkasan akhirmu
  • Ulangi posisimu dengan kosakata yang lebih kuat daripada pendahuluan
  • Buat tetap kuat: maksimal 2 kalimat. Akhiri dengan otoritas.

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

Kosakata & Kolokasi Skor Tinggi

digital nativeA person born or brought up during the age of digital technology and therefore familiar with computers and the internet from an early age.
societal pressuresThe expectations or demands placed on individuals by the community or culture they live in.
resilience-buildingThe process of developing the ability to recover quickly from difficulties or adapt well in the face of adversity.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a point that is generally accepted or recognized.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and convincing point or reason.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or belief is based or established on a particular principle or assumption.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase used to indicate that there is a very strong amount of proof or data supporting a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
this is not to say thatA phrase used to clarify that a previous statement does not imply something else, often to prevent misinterpretation or to acknowledge a limitation.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Penambahan

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Kontras

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Sebab / Akibat

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Contoh

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Konsesi

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Kalimat kompleks dengan konsesi

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Tunjukkan kontrol tata bahasa tingkat lanjut. Mulai dengan 'Meskipun /While' + pandangan berlawanan, lalu nyatakan posisimu — tunjukkan pemikiran bernuansa.

Kondisional (Tipe 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Cocok untuk skenario dan solusi hipotetis. Struktur: 'Jika + past simple, would + infinitive' — tunjukkan fleksibilitas dan imajinasi.

Pasif untuk nada academic

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing lebih suka konstruksi pasif. 'It is + past participle + that' ciptakan nada otoritatif dan objektif.

Klausa relatif

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Tambahkan kecanggihan tanpa kompleksitas. Gunakan 'who' untuk orang, 'which' untuk benda, 'that' untuk keduanya.

Frasa kata benda untuk kepadatan

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Masukkan lebih banyak informasi dengan kata lebih sedikit. 'Implementasi kebijakan efektif' vs 'kebijakan diimplementasikan secara efektif' — tingkatkan skor Lexical Resource.

Step 6

Jawaban Model Band 9 (Telah Dinilai Lengkap)

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