IELTS.international
Opinionacademic·2024

The rise of sedentary lifestyles due to desk jobs and technology has led to increased health problems. What measures can individuals and governments take to address this issue?

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Step 1

Tips Penguji IELTS untuk Topik Ini

1

In your introduction, clearly state that addressing sedentary lifestyles requires a dual approach, with both individual commitment and governmental intervention being indispensable. While it's important to acknowledge the role of personal choice, your essay should consistently argue that governmental policies provide the necessary framework and incentives for sustainable societal change, thus maintaining a nuanced yet firm position.

2

For individual measures, consider specific actions like integrating 'micro-breaks' every hour, utilising standing desks, or prioritising active commuting such as cycling or walking. For governmental actions, you could cite examples like Copenhagen's successful urban planning for cyclists, Singapore's 'National Steps Challenge' encouraging activity, or policies that incentivise companies to offer workplace wellness programs and ergonomic setups.

3

A common pitfall is merely listing potential measures without adequately explaining their direct impact on sedentary behaviour or differentiating clearly between individual and governmental spheres. To avoid this, dedicate distinct paragraphs to each category of action, ensuring that for every proposed measure, you explicitly articulate *how* it tackles the root causes of inactivity and contributes to improved public health outcomes.

4

To effectively transition between discussing individual and governmental measures, employ phrases that highlight their interconnectedness and distinct contributions. For instance, after detailing individual efforts, you might transition with 'While personal accountability is paramount, these efforts are significantly bolstered by...' or 'Concurrently, governments bear a substantial responsibility to create an enabling environment...'. This demonstrates a sophisticated understanding of the multifaceted nature of the problem.

5

For a band 8-9, examiners will look for a nuanced understanding of the interplay between individual agency and governmental policy, avoiding simplistic solutions. Your essay should present well-developed arguments for both categories, supported by specific, real-world examples, and demonstrate a sophisticated grasp of public health terminology. Crucially, it must maintain a consistent and well-defended position on *how* these measures collectively address the issue, showcasing logical progression and coherence.

Step 2

Struktur Esai yang Direkomendasikan (Standar Band 7+)

1
Pendahuluan

Tarik perhatian pemeriksa dan langsung tegaskan posisimu.

  • Ulangi pertanyaan dengan sinonim yang kuat — hindari menyalin kata-kata
  • Nyatakan pendapatmu dengan jelas di kalimat terakhir — jangan ada keraguan
  • Buat singkat: maksimal 2-3 kalimat. Setiap kata harus punya nilai.

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
Paragraf Utama 1 — Argumen Terkuatmu

Sampaikan kasus terbaikmu dengan bukti yang tak terbantahkan.

  • Mulai dengan kalimat topik yang kuat — nyatakan argumenmu dengan berani
  • Dukung dengan bukti konkret: statistik, kasus nyata, atau riset ahli
  • Jelaskan BAGAIMANA buktimu membuktikan poinmu — hubungkan untuk pemeriksa

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
Paragraf Utama 2 — Argumen Pendukung

Perkuat posisimu dengan perspektif pelengkap.

  • Pilih sudut pandang berbeda — jika paragraf 1 ekonomi, coba sosial, lingkungan, atau etika
  • Gunakan bukti baru — hindari mengulang contoh atau alasan yang sama
  • Tautkan kembali ke tesismu dengan jelas — tunjukkan bagaimana ini memperkuat posisi keseluruhan

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
Kesimpulan

Tinggalkan kesan mendalam dengan penutup yang percaya diri dan berkesan.

  • Jangan perkenalkan ide baru — ini adalah ringkasan akhirmu
  • Ulangi posisimu dengan kosakata yang lebih kuat daripada pendahuluan
  • Buat tetap kuat: maksimal 2 kalimat. Akhiri dengan otoritas.

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

Kosakata & Kolokasi Skor Tinggi

sedentary lifestyleA way of life that involves little or no physical activity.
public health initiativesPrograms or campaigns organised by governmental or non-governmental bodies to improve community well-being.
ergonomic workstationsWork environments designed to maximise productivity by reducing discomfort and injury.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea is based on or depends on a particular principle or assumption.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase used to indicate that there is a great deal of data supporting a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
this is not to say thatA phrase used to clarify a previous statement by indicating what is *not* implied.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Penambahan

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Kontras

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Sebab / Akibat

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Contoh

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Konsesi

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Kalimat kompleks dengan konsesi

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Tunjukkan kontrol tata bahasa tingkat lanjut. Mulai dengan 'Meskipun /While' + pandangan berlawanan, lalu nyatakan posisimu — tunjukkan pemikiran bernuansa.

Kondisional (Tipe 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Cocok untuk skenario dan solusi hipotetis. Struktur: 'Jika + past simple, would + infinitive' — tunjukkan fleksibilitas dan imajinasi.

Pasif untuk nada academic

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing lebih suka konstruksi pasif. 'It is + past participle + that' ciptakan nada otoritatif dan objektif.

Klausa relatif

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Tambahkan kecanggihan tanpa kompleksitas. Gunakan 'who' untuk orang, 'which' untuk benda, 'that' untuk keduanya.

Frasa kata benda untuk kepadatan

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Masukkan lebih banyak informasi dengan kata lebih sedikit. 'Implementasi kebijakan efektif' vs 'kebijakan diimplementasikan secara efektif' — tingkatkan skor Lexical Resource.

Step 6

Jawaban Model Band 9 (Telah Dinilai Lengkap)

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