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Opinionacademic·2023

The use of smartphones and social media has negatively affected people's physical and mental health. Do you agree or disagree?

最低250語で書いてください。約40分かけてください。これは本番の 100 試験形式の質問です。

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Step 1

このトピックに関するIELTS 試験官のアドバイス

1

Begin your essay with an unequivocal statement of your agreement or disagreement, making your stance clear from the outset. While it's beneficial to briefly acknowledge the opposing viewpoint in a concession clause (e.g., 'While it is true that smartphones offer connectivity...'), immediately pivot back to reinforce your main argument with phrases like 'however, the detrimental effects on health are undeniable.' This demonstrates nuanced thinking without weakening your core position.

2

To support your arguments, consider specific phenomena: for physical health, discuss the rise of 'tech neck' and sedentary lifestyles leading to conditions like obesity, or the impact of blue light on melatonin production disrupting sleep patterns. For mental health, explore the documented increase in anxiety and depression among adolescents due to constant social media comparison and cyberbullying, or the addictive dopamine feedback loops that foster dependence.

3

A common pitfall is merely listing negative effects without developing *how* these impacts significantly outweigh any potential benefits or without maintaining a consistent argumentative thread. Avoid this by ensuring each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect (e.g., physical health, then mental health), providing clear explanations of the causal link between smartphone/social media use and the health issue, and using specific examples to substantiate your claims rather than just stating them.

4

For an opinion essay, employ a 'concession-and-rebuttal' or 'amplification' linking strategy. Start a paragraph acknowledging a counter-argument ('While some might argue that...') then immediately present your stronger counter-point or further develop your main argument ('However, this perspective often overlooks...'). Within paragraphs, use phrases like 'Consequently,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In light of this' to build a logical progression of ideas that consistently supports your overall stance.

5

Examiners look for a sophisticated, well-reasoned argument that goes beyond surface-level observations. A band 8-9 answer will demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the complex relationship between technology and health, using precise academic vocabulary (e.g., 'cognitive dissonance,' 'sedentary behaviour,' 'diminished attention spans') and complex grammatical structures. It will also offer well-developed examples and maintain a consistently persuasive tone, avoiding overgeneralizations and presenting a balanced yet firm opinion.

Step 2

推奨エッセイ構成(Band 7+ スタンダード)

1
イントロダクション

採点官の興味を引き、すぐに自分の立場を明確に示しましょう。

  • 強力な類義語を使って質問を言い換える — 言葉をそのままコピーしない
  • 最終文で自分の意見を明確に述べる — 疑いの余地を残さない
  • 簡潔に:最大2〜3文。すべての単語に意味を持たせる。

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
ボディパラグラフ1 — 最強の論点

反論の余地のない証拠で、最も説得力のある主張を行う。

  • 力強いトピックセンテンスで始める — 自分の主張を大胆に述べる
  • 具体的な証拠(統計、実例、専門家の研究)で裏付ける
  • 証拠がどのように自分の主張を証明するのかを正確に説明する — 採点官に筋道を示す

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
ボディパラグラフ2 — 補足的な論点

補完的な視点で自分の立場を強化する。

  • 異なる角度を選ぶ — パラグラフ1が経済的なら、社会的、環境的、倫理的視点を試す
  • 新しい証拠を使う — 同じ例や論理を繰り返さない
  • 自分の主張に明示的に結びつける — これが全体の立場をどのように強化するかを示す

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
結論

自信に満ちた印象的な結びで、長く記憶に残る印象を与える。

  • 新しいアイデアを導入しない — これは最終的な要約である
  • イントロダクションよりも強い語彙を使って自分の立場を再提示する
  • 力強く:最大2文。権威を持って締めくくる。

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

高得点につながる語彙・コロケーション

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by a lot of sitting and little to no physical activity.
digital detoxA period during which a person voluntarily refrains from using electronic devices such as smartphones or computers.
cognitive overloadA state where an individual's mental capacity is overwhelmed by an excessive amount of information or tasks.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeUsed to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onIndicates that an idea or belief is based on a particular assumption or principle.
from my perspectiveIntroduces a personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsUsed to state that the available data strongly supports a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; although.
it could be argued thatIntroduces a potential counter-argument or an alternative viewpoint, often used to show nuance.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

追加

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

対比

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

原因 / 結果

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

例示

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

譲歩

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

譲歩を含む複文

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

高度な文法コントロールを示します。「Although/While」+ 反対の見解で始め、自分の立場を述べる — ニュアンスのある思考を示します。

条件法(タイプ2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

仮想的なシナリオや解決策に最適です。構造:「If + 過去形, would + 不定詞」 — 柔軟性と想像力を示します。

academicのための受動態

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writingは受動構文を好みます。「It is + 過去分詞 + that」は権威的で客観的なトーンを作ります。

関係節

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

複雑さを増さずに洗練さを加えます。「who」は人、「which」は物、「that」はどちらにも使います。

密度のための名詞句

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

より多くの情報を少ない言葉に詰め込みます。「効果的な政策の実施」対「政策は効果的に実施される」 — Lexical Resourceスコアを向上させます。

Step 6

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