IELTS.international
Discussionacademic·2023

Some believe that the best way to stop young people committing crimes is to put them in prison. Others think that education and training are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Step 1

Tips Penguji IELTS untuk Topik Ini

1

For this 'Discuss both views' essay, dedicate one distinct body paragraph to thoroughly exploring the arguments for incarceration and another separate paragraph to the merits of education and training. Avoid merging these views or giving disproportionate attention to one side, as this will prevent a balanced discussion and lower your Task Response score.

2

When discussing the 'prison' view, you could reference the concept of general deterrence, where severe penalties aim to discourage others, or the incapacitation theory, which physically removes offenders from society. For the 'education and training' perspective, consider citing the success of rehabilitative justice models, such as those implemented in Scandinavian countries like Norway, which prioritize vocational skills and psychological support to significantly reduce reoffending rates.

3

A common pitfall is failing to consistently focus on 'young people' and their specific developmental stage, instead discussing crime and punishment in a general sense. Ensure your arguments for both prison and education are tailored to adolescents and young adults, considering factors like their impressionability, potential for reform, and the long-term societal impact of their early experiences with the justice system.

4

To effectively transition between the two contrasting viewpoints, use clear signposting phrases at the start of each body paragraph. For instance, after discussing the punitive approach, you could begin the next paragraph with 'Conversely, a strong counter-argument posits that...' or 'However, an alternative perspective emphasizes the transformative power of...'. This clearly signals to the examiner that you are moving to the opposing side of the debate.

5

For a band 8-9, examiners seek a nuanced discussion that not only presents both sides thoroughly but also critically evaluates their strengths and weaknesses, especially concerning young offenders. This includes demonstrating an understanding that while prison offers immediate incapacitation, it often fails at long-term rehabilitation, whereas education, though slower, addresses root causes and fosters lasting societal reintegration, leading to a well-justified personal opinion.

Step 2

Struktur Esai yang Direkomendasikan (Standar Band 7+)

1
Pendahuluan

Tunjukkan penguasaan dengan menyajikan kedua sisi secara adil dan menegaskan pendirianmu.

  • Tunjukkan pemahaman tentang KEDUA perspektif — ini menunjukkan pemikiran kritis
  • Nyatakan sisi mana yang kamu condongi — bahkan jika kamu membahas keduanya secara setara
  • Pertahankan nada yang netral — hindari bahasa emosional atau bias

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

There are differing opinions on whether...While some people believe that..., others argue that...This essay will examine both perspectives before reaching a conclusion.
2
Paragraf Utama 1 — Sudut Pandang Pertama

Sajikan satu sisi dengan hormat dan kredibilitas.

  • Bahkan jika tidak setuju, sajikan pandangan ini dengan otentik menggunakan contoh nyata
  • Gunakan bahasa pelaporan yang netral: 'Penelitian menunjukkan...', 'Studi membuktikan...', 'Para ahli berpendapat...'
  • Akui kelebihannya — ini menunjukkan analisis seimbang dan dapat nilai

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that...Those in favour point out that...A key argument for this position is...
3
Paragraf Utama 2 — Sudut Pandang Berlawanan

Sajikan argumen tandingan dengan kedalaman dan kecanggihan yang setara.

  • Sesuaikan struktur dan kedalaman paragraf 1 — penguji membandingkannya
  • Gunakan kata transisi kontras: 'Sebaliknya', 'Sebagai kontras', 'Di sisi lain'
  • Jika kamu punya opini, buat paragraf ini sedikit lebih kuat — tapi tetap adil

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

On the other hand, critics contend that...However, there is a strong counter-argument...Conversely, many people feel that...
4
Kesimpulan

Sintesiskan kedua pandangan dan berikan penilaianmu yang tegas.

  • Akui validitas kedua sisi — ini menunjukkan kedewasaan intelektual
  • Nyatakan preferensimu dengan jelas dan percaya diri — jangan ragu-ragu
  • Ambil posisi yang tegas — penguji menghargai kejelasan daripada duduk di pagar

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

In conclusion, while both sides have merit, I believe that...Having considered both arguments, it seems that...

Step 3

Kosakata & Kolokasi Skor Tinggi

recidivism ratesThe tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend after release.
juvenile delinquencyCriminal acts committed by minors, typically individuals under the age of 18.
rehabilitative justiceAn approach to justice that focuses on the rehabilitation of offenders and their reintegration into society, rather than just punishment.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a point that is generally accepted or known by many.
a compelling argument can be madeIndicates that there is a strong and convincing reason or set of reasons to support a particular viewpoint.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or belief is based on or depends fundamentally on a particular assumption or principle.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or point of view.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsIndicates that the available information or data provides very strong support for a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; although; despite something previously mentioned.
it could be argued thatA hedging phrase used to present an argument or point of view without stating it as an absolute or universally accepted fact.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Penambahan

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Kontras

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Sebab / Akibat

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Contoh

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Konsesi

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Kalimat kompleks dengan konsesi

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Tunjukkan kontrol tata bahasa tingkat lanjut. Mulai dengan 'Meskipun /While' + pandangan berlawanan, lalu nyatakan posisimu — tunjukkan pemikiran bernuansa.

Kondisional (Tipe 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Cocok untuk skenario dan solusi hipotetis. Struktur: 'Jika + past simple, would + infinitive' — tunjukkan fleksibilitas dan imajinasi.

Pasif untuk nada academic

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing lebih suka konstruksi pasif. 'It is + past participle + that' ciptakan nada otoritatif dan objektif.

Klausa relatif

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Tambahkan kecanggihan tanpa kompleksitas. Gunakan 'who' untuk orang, 'which' untuk benda, 'that' untuk keduanya.

Frasa kata benda untuk kepadatan

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Masukkan lebih banyak informasi dengan kata lebih sedikit. 'Implementasi kebijakan efektif' vs 'kebijakan diimplementasikan secara efektif' — tingkatkan skor Lexical Resource.

Step 6

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