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Opinionacademic·2024

Some people believe that children are spending too much time watching television and playing computer games, which can lead to criminal behavior later in life. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?

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Step 1

このトピックに関するIELTS 試験官のアドバイス

1

When addressing the prompt, establish a nuanced position in your introduction: acknowledge the public concern regarding excessive screen time but argue against a direct, simplistic causal link to criminal behavior. For instance, you could state that while screen time poses developmental risks, criminal behavior is more often rooted in complex socio-economic factors or lack of parental guidance. Maintain this critical perspective throughout your essay, using phrases like 'it is important to distinguish between...' or 'while some correlation may exist, causation is far from established'.

2

To support your arguments, consider these specific examples: You could reference the ongoing debate in psychological research regarding media violence and aggression, highlighting that most studies show a correlation with aggressive thoughts, not direct criminal acts. Alternatively, discuss the phenomenon of 'desensitization to violence' from gaming, but argue that this effect is often mitigated by strong family values or educational interventions, rather than inevitably leading to crime. You might also mention countries like South Korea or China that have implemented measures against gaming addiction, but question their direct impact on reducing serious criminal behavior.

3

The most common mistake students make on this specific question is taking an extreme stance, either fully agreeing that screen time directly causes crime or completely dismissing any negative impact. This leads to a superficial discussion. To avoid this, adopt a balanced, critical perspective: acknowledge the potential negative effects of excessive screen time (e.g., sedentary lifestyle, social isolation) and discuss their *indirect* link to anti-social tendencies, rather than a direct path to criminality. Focus on the underlying causes of *excessive screen time* itself, such as parental neglect or lack of alternative activities, and propose solutions that address these deeper issues.

4

For this opinion essay requiring causes and solutions, employ a clear transition strategy that moves logically from problem identification to proposed remedies. After discussing the causes of excessive screen time and its *potential* indirect links to behavioral issues, use phrases like 'Consequently, a multi-faceted approach is required to mitigate these risks' or 'To address these underlying issues, several measures can be implemented'. Within the solutions paragraphs, use 'Furthermore, it is imperative that...' or 'Beyond individual responsibility, governmental intervention is also crucial...' to introduce distinct solutions.

5

For a band 8-9 answer to this question, examiners look for sophisticated critical thinking that goes beyond surface-level arguments. You must demonstrate a deep understanding of the distinction between 'anti-social behavior' and 'criminal behavior', and critically evaluate the premise of a direct causal link. A top-scoring essay will present well-developed arguments for the *actual* causes of excessive screen time and propose comprehensive, realistic solutions that address societal, familial, and individual factors, all while maintaining a consistent and nuanced opinion supported by precise vocabulary and complex sentence structures.

Step 2

推奨エッセイ構成(Band 7+ スタンダード)

1
イントロダクション

採点官の興味を引き、すぐに自分の立場を明確に示しましょう。

  • 強力な類義語を使って質問を言い換える — 言葉をそのままコピーしない
  • 最終文で自分の意見を明確に述べる — 疑いの余地を残さない
  • 簡潔に:最大2〜3文。すべての単語に意味を持たせる。

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
ボディパラグラフ1 — 最強の論点

反論の余地のない証拠で、最も説得力のある主張を行う。

  • 力強いトピックセンテンスで始める — 自分の主張を大胆に述べる
  • 具体的な証拠(統計、実例、専門家の研究)で裏付ける
  • 証拠がどのように自分の主張を証明するのかを正確に説明する — 採点官に筋道を示す

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
ボディパラグラフ2 — 補足的な論点

補完的な視点で自分の立場を強化する。

  • 異なる角度を選ぶ — パラグラフ1が経済的なら、社会的、環境的、倫理的視点を試す
  • 新しい証拠を使う — 同じ例や論理を繰り返さない
  • 自分の主張に明示的に結びつける — これが全体の立場をどのように強化するかを示す

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
結論

自信に満ちた印象的な結びで、長く記憶に残る印象を与える。

  • 新しいアイデアを導入しない — これは最終的な要約である
  • イントロダクションよりも強い語彙を使って自分の立場を再提示する
  • 力強く:最大2文。権威を持って締めくくる。

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

高得点につながる語彙・コロケーション

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by much sitting and little physical exercise.
desensitization to violenceThe process by which repeated exposure to violent content makes one less responsive or sensitive to it.
anti-social tendenciesInclinations towards behavior that violates social norms or rights of others.
it is widely acknowledged thatA common phrase to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA strong and convincing point can be presented.
this notion is predicated onThis idea is based or established on.
from my perspectiveExpressing one's personal viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsIndicating that the majority of data or facts point towards a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; although.
it could be argued thatIntroducing a potential argument or perspective, often to soften a claim or present an alternative view.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

追加

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

対比

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

原因 / 結果

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

例示

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

譲歩

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

譲歩を含む複文

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

高度な文法コントロールを示します。「Although/While」+ 反対の見解で始め、自分の立場を述べる — ニュアンスのある思考を示します。

条件法(タイプ2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

仮想的なシナリオや解決策に最適です。構造:「If + 過去形, would + 不定詞」 — 柔軟性と想像力を示します。

academicのための受動態

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writingは受動構文を好みます。「It is + 過去分詞 + that」は権威的で客観的なトーンを作ります。

関係節

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

複雑さを増さずに洗練さを加えます。「who」は人、「which」は物、「that」はどちらにも使います。

密度のための名詞句

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

より多くの情報を少ない言葉に詰め込みます。「効果的な政策の実施」対「政策は効果的に実施される」 — Lexical Resourceスコアを向上させます。

Step 6

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