IELTS.international
Opinionacademic·2024

Some people believe that children are spending too much time watching television and playing computer games, which can lead to criminal behavior later in life. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?

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Step 1

考官针对本话题的评分要点

1

When addressing the prompt, establish a nuanced position in your introduction: acknowledge the public concern regarding excessive screen time but argue against a direct, simplistic causal link to criminal behavior. For instance, you could state that while screen time poses developmental risks, criminal behavior is more often rooted in complex socio-economic factors or lack of parental guidance. Maintain this critical perspective throughout your essay, using phrases like 'it is important to distinguish between...' or 'while some correlation may exist, causation is far from established'.

2

To support your arguments, consider these specific examples: You could reference the ongoing debate in psychological research regarding media violence and aggression, highlighting that most studies show a correlation with aggressive thoughts, not direct criminal acts. Alternatively, discuss the phenomenon of 'desensitization to violence' from gaming, but argue that this effect is often mitigated by strong family values or educational interventions, rather than inevitably leading to crime. You might also mention countries like South Korea or China that have implemented measures against gaming addiction, but question their direct impact on reducing serious criminal behavior.

3

The most common mistake students make on this specific question is taking an extreme stance, either fully agreeing that screen time directly causes crime or completely dismissing any negative impact. This leads to a superficial discussion. To avoid this, adopt a balanced, critical perspective: acknowledge the potential negative effects of excessive screen time (e.g., sedentary lifestyle, social isolation) and discuss their *indirect* link to anti-social tendencies, rather than a direct path to criminality. Focus on the underlying causes of *excessive screen time* itself, such as parental neglect or lack of alternative activities, and propose solutions that address these deeper issues.

4

For this opinion essay requiring causes and solutions, employ a clear transition strategy that moves logically from problem identification to proposed remedies. After discussing the causes of excessive screen time and its *potential* indirect links to behavioral issues, use phrases like 'Consequently, a multi-faceted approach is required to mitigate these risks' or 'To address these underlying issues, several measures can be implemented'. Within the solutions paragraphs, use 'Furthermore, it is imperative that...' or 'Beyond individual responsibility, governmental intervention is also crucial...' to introduce distinct solutions.

5

For a band 8-9 answer to this question, examiners look for sophisticated critical thinking that goes beyond surface-level arguments. You must demonstrate a deep understanding of the distinction between 'anti-social behavior' and 'criminal behavior', and critically evaluate the premise of a direct causal link. A top-scoring essay will present well-developed arguments for the *actual* causes of excessive screen time and propose comprehensive, realistic solutions that address societal, familial, and individual factors, all while maintaining a consistent and nuanced opinion supported by precise vocabulary and complex sentence structures.

Step 2

推荐的文章结构(25+分标准)

1
引言

立即吸引考官注意并明确立场。

  • 使用有力同义词改写题目——避免照搬原词
  • 在最后一句清晰陈述观点——不留任何疑问
  • 保持简洁:最多2-3句。每个词都必须物有所值。

task 各段落万能开头句

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
主体段落1——最强论据

用无可辩驳的证据提出最具说服力的论点。

  • 以有力的主题句开头——大胆陈述你的论点
  • 用具体证据支持:数据、真实案例或专家研究
  • 准确解释你的证据如何证明观点——为考官理清逻辑

task 各段落万能开头句

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
主体段落2——辅助论据

用补充性视角强化你的立场。

  • 选择不同角度——如果段落1是经济角度,可尝试社会、环境或伦理角度
  • 使用新的证据——避免重复相同例子或推理
  • 明确联系回你的中心论点——展示这如何强化整体立场

task 各段落万能开头句

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
结论

以自信、令人印象深刻的结尾留下持久印象。

  • 切勿引入新观点——这是你的最终总结
  • 用比引言更强的词汇重申立场
  • 保持有力:最多2句。以权威感结束。

task 各段落万能开头句

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

高分词汇与搭配

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by much sitting and little physical exercise.
desensitization to violenceThe process by which repeated exposure to violent content makes one less responsive or sensitive to it.
anti-social tendenciesInclinations towards behavior that violates social norms or rights of others.
it is widely acknowledged thatA common phrase to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA strong and convincing point can be presented.
this notion is predicated onThis idea is based or established on.
from my perspectiveExpressing one's personal viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsIndicating that the majority of data or facts point towards a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; although.
it could be argued thatIntroducing a potential argument or perspective, often to soften a claim or present an alternative view.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

补充

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

对比

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

因果

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

举例

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

让步

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

含让步关系的复合句

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

展现高级语法掌控力。以「虽然name」+相反观点开头,再陈述你的立场——体现细致入微的思考。

条件句(第二类)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

非常适合假设情景和解决方案。结构:「If + 过去式,would + 动词原形」——展现灵活性和想象力。

使用被动语态以name语气

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

name name倾向使用被动结构。「It is + 过去分词 + that」能营造权威、客观的语气。

关系从句

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

在不增加复杂度的前提下提升句子精密度。对人用「who」,对物用「which」,两者皆可用「that」。

名词短语增加信息密度

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

用更少的词承载更多信息。「有效政策的实施」对比「政策被有效实施」——提升name分数。

Step 6

task 满分范文(带批注)

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