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Opinionacademic·2024

The government should pay to the parents of very young children, so that one of them can stay at home and look after their children. What do you think?

最低250語で書いてください。約40分かけてください。これは本番の 100 試験形式の質問です。

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Step 1

このトピックに関するIELTS 試験官のアドバイス

1

To achieve a high score, state your position unequivocally in the introduction (e.g., 'I strongly agree that...' or 'While there are valid points on both sides, I firmly believe...'). Maintain this stance throughout your essay, dedicating your main body paragraphs to supporting it. You can acknowledge the opposing view in one paragraph by starting with a concessive phrase like 'Admittedly, some might argue that...' before immediately refuting it or demonstrating why your primary argument holds more weight.

2

Consider these arguments: For the proposal, you could highlight the proven benefits of early parental involvement for child development, citing examples from Nordic countries (e.g., Sweden's generous parental leave) which often report higher levels of child well-being and gender equality. Against the proposal, you might focus on the immense fiscal burden on taxpayers, the potential for reduced workforce participation, and questions of equity for childless individuals or those whose children are older.

3

The most common mistake students make on this question is focusing exclusively on the social benefits for children and families without adequately addressing the economic implications and practical challenges for the government. To avoid this, ensure your essay thoroughly discusses the financial feasibility, potential strain on public funds, and alternative uses for taxpayer money, even if you ultimately support the proposal.

4

For an opinion essay, employ a 'concession-rebuttal' linking strategy. Begin a paragraph by acknowledging a counter-argument using phrases such as 'While it is true that...' or 'Opponents might contend that...', then immediately transition to your stronger point with 'However, this perspective often overlooks...' or 'Nevertheless, the long-term societal gains far outweigh...'. This demonstrates a nuanced understanding and strengthens your overall argument.

5

Examiners look for a sophisticated discussion that balances the social and economic dimensions of the issue. A band 8-9 answer will not only present well-developed arguments for or against the proposal but also explore the complexities, such as potential unintended consequences, the sustainability of such a policy, or how it might be implemented fairly and effectively, demonstrating a deep analytical capacity.

Step 2

推奨エッセイ構成(Band 7+ スタンダード)

1
イントロダクション

採点官の興味を引き、すぐに自分の立場を明確に示しましょう。

  • 強力な類義語を使って質問を言い換える — 言葉をそのままコピーしない
  • 最終文で自分の意見を明確に述べる — 疑いの余地を残さない
  • 簡潔に:最大2〜3文。すべての単語に意味を持たせる。

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
ボディパラグラフ1 — 最強の論点

反論の余地のない証拠で、最も説得力のある主張を行う。

  • 力強いトピックセンテンスで始める — 自分の主張を大胆に述べる
  • 具体的な証拠(統計、実例、専門家の研究)で裏付ける
  • 証拠がどのように自分の主張を証明するのかを正確に説明する — 採点官に筋道を示す

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
ボディパラグラフ2 — 補足的な論点

補完的な視点で自分の立場を強化する。

  • 異なる角度を選ぶ — パラグラフ1が経済的なら、社会的、環境的、倫理的視点を試す
  • 新しい証拠を使う — 同じ例や論理を繰り返さない
  • 自分の主張に明示的に結びつける — これが全体の立場をどのように強化するかを示す

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
結論

自信に満ちた印象的な結びで、長く記憶に残る印象を与える。

  • 新しいアイデアを導入しない — これは最終的な要約である
  • イントロダクションよりも強い語彙を使って自分の立場を再提示する
  • 力強く:最大2文。権威を持って締めくくる。

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

高得点につながる語彙・コロケーション

early childhood developmentThe process of growth and learning that occurs in children from birth up to age eight.
parental leaveA period of absence from work granted to a parent to care for a newborn or newly adopted child.
fiscal burdenThe financial cost or strain placed on a government or economy.
compelling argumentA strong and persuasive reason or set of reasons.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based on or depends on.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase indicating that the majority of available data or facts support a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a possible argument or point of view, often to present a counter-argument or a nuanced perspective.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

追加

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

対比

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

原因 / 結果

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

例示

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

譲歩

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

譲歩を含む複文

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

高度な文法コントロールを示します。「Although/While」+ 反対の見解で始め、自分の立場を述べる — ニュアンスのある思考を示します。

条件法(タイプ2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

仮想的なシナリオや解決策に最適です。構造:「If + 過去形, would + 不定詞」 — 柔軟性と想像力を示します。

academicのための受動態

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writingは受動構文を好みます。「It is + 過去分詞 + that」は権威的で客観的なトーンを作ります。

関係節

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

複雑さを増さずに洗練さを加えます。「who」は人、「which」は物、「that」はどちらにも使います。

密度のための名詞句

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

より多くの情報を少ない言葉に詰め込みます。「効果的な政策の実施」対「政策は効果的に実施される」 — Lexical Resourceスコアを向上させます。

Step 6

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