IELTS.international
Opinionacademic·2025

Obesity is a growing problem in many countries. What can governments and individuals do to address this issue?

**최소 250단어** 이상 작성하세요. 약 40분을 할애하세요. 실제 IELTS 시험 스타일의 문제입니다.

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Step 1

이 주제에 대한 IELTS 시험관 팁

1

For this "solutions" essay, your position should clarify whether you believe government action or individual responsibility holds greater sway in tackling obesity, or if a balanced, integrated approach is most effective. While discussing the contributions of both, ensure your chosen emphasis is consistently reinforced, perhaps by dedicating more detailed examples or stronger language to your primary argument. You can acknowledge the other side's importance in a separate paragraph, but always conclude by reiterating why your main stance is ultimately more impactful.

2

For governmental action, consider discussing the effectiveness of sugar taxes, such as those implemented in the UK or Mexico, in reducing consumption of sugary drinks. You could also mention public health initiatives like Singapore's "Healthier Choice" symbol program, which guides consumers towards better food options, or urban planning that promotes active lifestyles, like dedicated cycling lanes in Copenhagen. For individual efforts, focus on personal dietary modifications, regular physical activity, and the importance of self-education on nutrition.

3

The most common mistake is failing to adequately address both "governments" and "individuals" as distinct agents of change, often focusing too heavily on one or merely listing generic solutions without depth. To avoid this, dedicate separate body paragraphs to the specific actions each entity can take, providing concrete examples and explaining the mechanisms through which these actions combat obesity. Ensure you don't just describe the problem but actively propose and elaborate on solutions.

4

To effectively transition between discussing governmental and individual contributions, employ clear signposting phrases at the start of your body paragraphs. For instance, begin one paragraph with "Turning first to the role of governments..." or "From a governmental perspective, several key measures can be implemented," and then transition to the next with "While governmental intervention is vital, individual responsibility also plays an indispensable role" or "On the individual front, personal choices are equally crucial." This ensures a logical flow and addresses both parts of the prompt distinctly.

5

For a band 8-9 score on this question, examiners look for a nuanced and comprehensive exploration of both governmental and individual contributions, not just a list. This includes demonstrating an understanding of how these two spheres interact and complement each other, perhaps arguing for a synergistic approach. The essay should feature sophisticated vocabulary related to public health policy and personal accountability, alongside specific, well-integrated examples that clearly illustrate the proposed solutions' effectiveness, rather than generic statements.

Step 2

권장 에세이 구조 (Band 7+ 표준)

1
소개

시험관의 관심을 끌고 즉시 본인의 입장을 확실히 밝히세요.

  • 강력한 동의어를 사용해 질문을 재구성하세요 — 단어를 그대로 복사하지 마세요
  • 마지막 문장에서 본인의 의견을 명확히 밝히세요 — 의심의 여지가 없도록
  • 간결하게: 최대 2-3문장. 모든 단어가 제 역할을 해야 합니다.

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
본문 1단락 — 가장 강력한 주장

반박할 수 없는 근거로 가장 설득력 있는 주장을 펼치세요.

  • 강력한 주제문으로 시작하세요 — 주장을 당당하게 밝히세요
  • 구체적인 근거로 뒷받침하세요: 통계, 실제 사례, 전문가 연구
  • 근거가 어떻게 주장을 뒷받침하는지 정확히 설명하세요 — 시험관을 위해 논리를 연결하세요

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
본문 2단락 — 보조 주장

보완적인 관점으로 입장을 강화하세요.

  • 다른 각도를 선택하세요 — 1단락이 경제적이었다면 사회적, 환경적, 윤리적 접근을 시도하세요
  • 새로운 근거를 사용하세요 — 같은 예시나 논리를 반복하지 마세요
  • 본인의 논지로 명시적으로 연결하세요 — 이것이 전체 입장을 어떻게 강화하는지 보여주세요

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
결론

자신감 있고 기억에 남는 마무리로 지속적인 인상을 남기세요.

  • 새로운 아이디어를 도입하지 마세요 — 이것은 최종 요약입니다
  • 소개보다 더 강력한 어휘를 사용해 본인의 입장을 재진술하세요
  • 강력하게: 최대 2문장. 권위 있게 끝내세요.

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

고득점 어휘 & 연어

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by much sitting and little physical activity.
public health initiativesPrograms or policies designed to improve the health of a population.
nutritional literacyThe ability to obtain, process, and understand basic nutrition information and services needed to make appropriate health decisions.
it is widely acknowledged thatA common phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea is based on or depends on.
from my perspectiveIn my opinion; from my point of view.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsThe data or facts strongly indicate.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a possible argument or point of view, often to present a counter-argument or a nuanced perspective.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

추가

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

대조

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

원인 / 결과

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

예시

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

양보

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

양보절이 포함된 복잡한 문장

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

고급 문법 통제력을 보여줍니다. 'Althoughname' + 반대 의견으로 시작한 후 본인의 입장을 밝히세요 — 미묘한 사고를 보여줍니다.

조건문 (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

가상 시나리오와 해결책에 완벽합니다. 구조: 'If + 과거 단순형, would + 원형 부정사' — 유연성과 상상력을 보여줍니다.

name 톤을 위한 수동태

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

score name는 수동 구문을 선호합니다. 'It is + 과거 분사 + that'는 권위 있고 객관적인 톤을 만듭니다.

관계절

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

복잡함 없이 정교함을 더합니다. 사람은 'who', 사물은 'which', 둘 다는 'that'을 사용하세요.

밀도를 위한 명사구

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

더 적은 단어에 더 많은 정보를 담습니다. '효과적인 정책의 시행' vs '정책이 효과적으로 시행된다' — name 점수를 높입니다.

Step 6

Band 9 모범 답안 (완전 채점됨)

무료 가입으로 전체 모범 답안과 시험관 코멘트를 확인하세요.

전체 모범 답안 보기 — 무료 가입

실제 IELTS 시험처럼 연습하세요

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