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Opinionacademic·2023

In recent years, there has been an increase in health problems such as obesity and diabetes among young people. What are the causes of this trend and what measures could be taken to address it?

**ቢያንስ 250 ቃላት** ጻፍ። ~40 ደቂቃ ውሰድ። ይህ እውነተኛ IELTS ፈተና ዓይነት ጥያቄ ነው።

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Step 1

IELTS ፈታኝ ምክሮች ለዚህ ርዕስ

1

For this question, your introduction should clearly state your perspective on the primary causes and the most impactful solutions, even though it's a problem/solution essay. While acknowledging that multiple factors contribute, explicitly identify the 2-3 causes you will focus on as most significant and the 2-3 measures you believe are most effective, maintaining this emphasis throughout your body paragraphs. To balance, briefly mention other less impactful factors or solutions, but immediately reinforce why your chosen points are more critical or sustainable.

2

When discussing causes, consider specific examples like the proliferation of ultra-processed foods and sugary beverages, alongside the rise of sedentary screen-based entertainment, which has replaced active play among young people. For solutions, you could reference the UK's 'sugar tax' on soft drinks as a government intervention, or the success of school-based initiatives that integrate daily physical activity and nutrition education, rather than just relying on generic 'healthy eating' advice.

3

A common pitfall for this question is providing a superficial list of causes and solutions without sufficient depth or specific examples. Students often mention 'unhealthy diet' and 'lack of exercise' without elaborating on *why* these have increased or *how* they specifically impact young people. To avoid this, select 2-3 distinct, well-developed causes (e.g., pervasive digital entertainment leading to sedentary habits, or aggressive marketing of unhealthy foods to children) and ensure your proposed measures directly correspond to and address these specific causes, demonstrating a clear cause-and-effect relationship.

4

To transition smoothly in this problem/solution essay with an underlying opinion, use clear signposting that moves from analysis to action. When shifting from discussing causes to proposing solutions, phrases like 'In light of these contributing factors,' or 'Consequently, addressing these pervasive issues requires...' are highly effective. Within your solution paragraphs, ensure logical progression using terms such as 'A primary measure would involve...' followed by 'Furthermore, complementary efforts must also focus on...' to connect your ideas cohesively.

5

For a band 8-9, examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the *interplay* between various causes, rather than just listing them. This means demonstrating how factors like digital media consumption, urban design, and food industry marketing collectively contribute to the problem, rather than just individual poor choices. Solutions should be multi-faceted and address systemic issues (e.g., regulatory frameworks, public health campaigns, educational reform) with specific, well-justified examples, showing a deep grasp of policy implications and societal impact, all while maintaining a consistent and well-supported argument.

Step 2

የሚመከር የድርሰት አወቃቀር (Band 7+ ደረጃ)

1
መግቢያ

ወዲያውኑ ፈታኙን ትኩረት ስቦ አቋምህን አሳይ።

  • ጥያቄውን በጠንካራ ተመሳሳይ ቃላት ደግምው — ቃላቱን ቀጥተኛ አትቅዳ
  • አስተያየትህን በመጨረሻው ዓረፍተ ነገር ግልጽ አድርግ — ምንም ጥርጣሬ አይኑር
  • አጭር አድርገው፡ ከ2-3 ዓረፍተ ነገሮች አይበልጥ። እያንዳንዱ ቃል ዋጋ ሊኖረው ይገባል።

Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
አካል አንቀጽ 1 — በጣም ጠንካራ ክርክርህ

በማይካድ ማስረጃ ጠንካራ ሙግት አቅርብ።

  • በኃይለኛ ርዕሰ ዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምር — ክርክርህን ደፍሮ ግለጽ
  • በተጨባጭ ማስረጃ ደግፍ፡ ስታቲስቲክስ፣ የገሃዱ ዓለም ምሳሌዎች፣ ወይም የባለሙያ ጥናት
  • ማስረጃህ ነጥብህን እንዴት እንደሚያረጋግጥ ግልጽ አድርግ — ፈታኙ ግንኙነቱን እንዲረዳ አገናኝ

Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
አካል አንቀጽ 2 — ተጨማሪ ክርክር

አቋምህን ከሌላ አቅጣጫ ደግፍ።

  • የተለየ አቅጣጫ ምረጥ — አንቀጽ 1 ኢኮኖሚያዊ ከሆነ፣ ማህበራዊ፣ አካባቢያዊ ወይም ሥነ ምግባራዊ ሞክር
  • አዲስ ማስረጃ ተጠቀም — ተመሳሳይ ምሳሌ ወይም ምክንያት አትደግም
  • ከዋና ሃሳብህ ጋር ግልጽ አገናኝ — ይህ አጠቃላይ አቋምህን እንዴት እንደሚያጠናክር አሳይ

Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
ማጠቃለያ

በልበ ሙሉነት እና በሚታወስ ሃሳብ ጥሩ ስሜት ትተህ ጨርስ።

  • አዲስ ሃሳብ አታስገባ — ይህ የመጨረሻ ማጠቃለያህ ነው
  • አቋምህን ከመግቢያው የበለጠ ጠንካራ ቃላት ተጠቅሞ ድገምው
  • ኃይለኛ አድርገው፡ ከ2 ዓረፍተ ነገሮች አይበልጥ። በእምነት ጨርስ።

Band 7+ ለእያንዳንዱ አንቀጽ የሚሆኑ የዓረፍተ ነገር ጀምሮዎች

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

ከፍተኛ ውጤት የሚያስገኙ ቃላት እና ሐረጎች

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by much sitting and little physical activity.
ultra-processed foodsIndustrial formulations made mostly from cheap ingredients and additives, often high in sugar, fat, and salt.
public health initiativesPrograms or policies designed by government or health organizations to improve community health.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a commonly accepted or recognized fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point or reason.
this notion is predicated onA phrase meaning that an idea or concept is based on or depends upon a particular assumption or principle.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase indicating that the available data or information strongly supports a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a possible interpretation or contention, often to present a balanced view or a less definitive statement.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

ጭማሬ

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

ቅራኔ

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

ምክንያት / ውጤት

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

ምሳሌ

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

ስምምነት ወዳለ አቅጣጫ

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

የስምምነት ዓረፍተ ነገር

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

ከፍተኛ ሰዋሰዋዊ ቁጥጥር ያሳያል። 'Although' ብለህ ጀምር — ተቃራኒ ሃሳብ አምጣ፣ ከዚያ አቋምህን ግለጽ — ጥልቅ አስተሳሰብ ያሳያል።

ሁኔታዊ ዓረፍተ ነገር (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

ለምናባዊ ሁኔታዎችና መፍትሔዎች ጥሩ ነው። 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — ተለዋዋጭነት ያሳያል።

ለacademic ቃና Passive ተጠቀም

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing passive ዓረፍተ ነገሮችን ይመርጣል። 'It is + past participle + that' — ስልጣናዊና ገለልተኛ ቃና ይሰጣል።

አንጻራዊ ዓረፍተ ነገር

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

ውስብስብ ሳይሆን ብቃትን ያሳያል። ለሰዎች 'who'፣ ለነገሮች 'which'፣ ለሁለቱም 'that' ተጠቀም።

ጥቅጥቅ ለማለት የስም ሐረግ

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

በጥቂት ቃላት ብዙ መረጃ ያስተላልፋል። 'The implementation of effective policies' እና 'policies are implemented effectively' ይወዳደሩ — Lexical Resource ውጤትን ያሻሽላል።

Step 6

Band 9 ናሙና መልስ (ሙሉ ምዘና)

ሙሉ ናሙና መልሱን እና የፈታኝ አስተያየቶችን ለማየት በነፃ ይመዝገቡ።

ሙሉ ናሙና መልስ ይመልከቱ — በነፃ ይመዝገቡ

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ኦፊሴላዊ IELTS የመልስ ወረቀት ያውርዱ (PDF)

እያንዳንዱ ድርሰት እውነተኛ የእንግሊዝኛ ችሎታዎን እና የፈተና እምነትዎን ይገነባል

ዝርዝር፣ መስፈርት-በ-መስፈርት ግብረ-መልስ ያግኙ። በብዙ ድርሰቶች ላይ ሂደቶን ይከታተሉ። IELTS Writing Task 2 ይቆጣጠሩ — ለፈተናው ብቻ ሳይሆን ለሕይወትዎ ሁሉ።

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