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Opinionacademic·2023

In recent years, there has been an increase in health problems such as obesity and diabetes among young people. What are the causes of this trend and what measures could be taken to address it?

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Step 1

Consejos del examinador IELTS sobre este tema

1

For this question, your introduction should clearly state your perspective on the primary causes and the most impactful solutions, even though it's a problem/solution essay. While acknowledging that multiple factors contribute, explicitly identify the 2-3 causes you will focus on as most significant and the 2-3 measures you believe are most effective, maintaining this emphasis throughout your body paragraphs. To balance, briefly mention other less impactful factors or solutions, but immediately reinforce why your chosen points are more critical or sustainable.

2

When discussing causes, consider specific examples like the proliferation of ultra-processed foods and sugary beverages, alongside the rise of sedentary screen-based entertainment, which has replaced active play among young people. For solutions, you could reference the UK's 'sugar tax' on soft drinks as a government intervention, or the success of school-based initiatives that integrate daily physical activity and nutrition education, rather than just relying on generic 'healthy eating' advice.

3

A common pitfall for this question is providing a superficial list of causes and solutions without sufficient depth or specific examples. Students often mention 'unhealthy diet' and 'lack of exercise' without elaborating on *why* these have increased or *how* they specifically impact young people. To avoid this, select 2-3 distinct, well-developed causes (e.g., pervasive digital entertainment leading to sedentary habits, or aggressive marketing of unhealthy foods to children) and ensure your proposed measures directly correspond to and address these specific causes, demonstrating a clear cause-and-effect relationship.

4

To transition smoothly in this problem/solution essay with an underlying opinion, use clear signposting that moves from analysis to action. When shifting from discussing causes to proposing solutions, phrases like 'In light of these contributing factors,' or 'Consequently, addressing these pervasive issues requires...' are highly effective. Within your solution paragraphs, ensure logical progression using terms such as 'A primary measure would involve...' followed by 'Furthermore, complementary efforts must also focus on...' to connect your ideas cohesively.

5

For a band 8-9, examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the *interplay* between various causes, rather than just listing them. This means demonstrating how factors like digital media consumption, urban design, and food industry marketing collectively contribute to the problem, rather than just individual poor choices. Solutions should be multi-faceted and address systemic issues (e.g., regulatory frameworks, public health campaigns, educational reform) with specific, well-justified examples, showing a deep grasp of policy implications and societal impact, all while maintaining a consistent and well-supported argument.

Step 2

Estructura recomendada para el ensayo (Band 7+ estándar)

1
Introducción

Atrae al evaluador y define tu postura desde el primer instante.

  • Reformula la pregunta con sinónimos contundentes — evita copiar palabras.
  • Expresa tu opinión con claridad en la última oración — no dejes dudas.
  • Manténla concisa: máximo 2-3 oraciones. Cada palabra debe justificar su lugar.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
Párrafo 1 — Tu argumento más fuerte

Plantea tu caso más convincente con pruebas irrefutables.

  • Comienza con una oración temática contundente — afirma tu postura con decisión.
  • Apóyala con evidencia concreta: estadísticas, casos reales o investigaciones de expertos.
  • Explica exactamente CÓMO tu evidencia respalda tu punto — haz las conexiones claras para el evaluador.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
Párrafo 2 — Argumento de apoyo

Refuerza tu postura con una perspectiva complementaria.

  • Elige un ángulo distinto — si el párrafo 1 fue económico, prueba con lo social, ambiental o ético.
  • Usa evidencia nueva — evita repetir ejemplos o razonamientos.
  • Vincula explícitamente con tu tesis — muestra cómo esto fortalece tu posición general.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
Conclusión

Deja una impresión duradera con un cierre seguro y memorable.

  • Nunca presentes ideas nuevas — esta es tu síntesis final.
  • Reafirma tu postura usando vocabulario más preciso que en la introducción.
  • Manténla contundente: máximo 2 oraciones. Termina con autoridad.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

Vocabulario y colocaciones de alto puntaje

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by much sitting and little physical activity.
ultra-processed foodsIndustrial formulations made mostly from cheap ingredients and additives, often high in sugar, fat, and salt.
public health initiativesPrograms or policies designed by government or health organizations to improve community health.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a commonly accepted or recognized fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point or reason.
this notion is predicated onA phrase meaning that an idea or concept is based on or depends upon a particular assumption or principle.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase indicating that the available data or information strongly supports a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a possible interpretation or contention, often to present a balanced view or a less definitive statement.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Adición

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Contraste

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Causa / efecto

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Ejemplo

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Concesión

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Oración compleja con concesión

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Demuestra control gramatical avanzado. Empieza con «Aunque/While» + opinión opuesta, luego expresa tu postura — muestra pensamiento matizado.

Condicional (tipo 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Ideal para escenarios hipotéticos y soluciones. Estructura: «Si + pretérito imperfecto del subjuntivo, condicional simple» — refleja flexibilidad e imaginación.

Voz pasiva para tono academic

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing prefiere construcciones pasivas. «Se + verbo en participio + que…» crea un tono autoritario y objetivo.

Cláusula relativa

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Agrega sofisticación sin complejidad. Usa «quien» para personas, «lo cual» para cosas, «que» para ambos.

Grupo nominal para densidad

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Transmite más información en menos palabras. «La implementación de políticas efectivas» vs «las políticas se implementan de forma efectiva» — mejora tu puntaje Lexical Resource.

Step 6

Respuesta modelo Band 9 (corregida completamente)

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