IELTS.international
Opinionacademic·2023

In recent years, there has been an increase in health problems such as obesity and diabetes among young people. What are the causes of this trend and what measures could be taken to address it?

撰写至少250字。用时约40分钟。这是一个真实的雅思考试风格问题。

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Step 1

考官针对本话题的评分要点

1

For this question, your introduction should clearly state your perspective on the primary causes and the most impactful solutions, even though it's a problem/solution essay. While acknowledging that multiple factors contribute, explicitly identify the 2-3 causes you will focus on as most significant and the 2-3 measures you believe are most effective, maintaining this emphasis throughout your body paragraphs. To balance, briefly mention other less impactful factors or solutions, but immediately reinforce why your chosen points are more critical or sustainable.

2

When discussing causes, consider specific examples like the proliferation of ultra-processed foods and sugary beverages, alongside the rise of sedentary screen-based entertainment, which has replaced active play among young people. For solutions, you could reference the UK's 'sugar tax' on soft drinks as a government intervention, or the success of school-based initiatives that integrate daily physical activity and nutrition education, rather than just relying on generic 'healthy eating' advice.

3

A common pitfall for this question is providing a superficial list of causes and solutions without sufficient depth or specific examples. Students often mention 'unhealthy diet' and 'lack of exercise' without elaborating on *why* these have increased or *how* they specifically impact young people. To avoid this, select 2-3 distinct, well-developed causes (e.g., pervasive digital entertainment leading to sedentary habits, or aggressive marketing of unhealthy foods to children) and ensure your proposed measures directly correspond to and address these specific causes, demonstrating a clear cause-and-effect relationship.

4

To transition smoothly in this problem/solution essay with an underlying opinion, use clear signposting that moves from analysis to action. When shifting from discussing causes to proposing solutions, phrases like 'In light of these contributing factors,' or 'Consequently, addressing these pervasive issues requires...' are highly effective. Within your solution paragraphs, ensure logical progression using terms such as 'A primary measure would involve...' followed by 'Furthermore, complementary efforts must also focus on...' to connect your ideas cohesively.

5

For a band 8-9, examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the *interplay* between various causes, rather than just listing them. This means demonstrating how factors like digital media consumption, urban design, and food industry marketing collectively contribute to the problem, rather than just individual poor choices. Solutions should be multi-faceted and address systemic issues (e.g., regulatory frameworks, public health campaigns, educational reform) with specific, well-justified examples, showing a deep grasp of policy implications and societal impact, all while maintaining a consistent and well-supported argument.

Step 2

推荐的文章结构(25+分标准)

1
引言

立即吸引考官注意并明确立场。

  • 使用有力同义词改写题目——避免照搬原词
  • 在最后一句清晰陈述观点——不留任何疑问
  • 保持简洁:最多2-3句。每个词都必须物有所值。

task 各段落万能开头句

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
主体段落1——最强论据

用无可辩驳的证据提出最具说服力的论点。

  • 以有力的主题句开头——大胆陈述你的论点
  • 用具体证据支持:数据、真实案例或专家研究
  • 准确解释你的证据如何证明观点——为考官理清逻辑

task 各段落万能开头句

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
主体段落2——辅助论据

用补充性视角强化你的立场。

  • 选择不同角度——如果段落1是经济角度,可尝试社会、环境或伦理角度
  • 使用新的证据——避免重复相同例子或推理
  • 明确联系回你的中心论点——展示这如何强化整体立场

task 各段落万能开头句

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
结论

以自信、令人印象深刻的结尾留下持久印象。

  • 切勿引入新观点——这是你的最终总结
  • 用比引言更强的词汇重申立场
  • 保持有力:最多2句。以权威感结束。

task 各段落万能开头句

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

高分词汇与搭配

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by much sitting and little physical activity.
ultra-processed foodsIndustrial formulations made mostly from cheap ingredients and additives, often high in sugar, fat, and salt.
public health initiativesPrograms or policies designed by government or health organizations to improve community health.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a commonly accepted or recognized fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point or reason.
this notion is predicated onA phrase meaning that an idea or concept is based on or depends upon a particular assumption or principle.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase indicating that the available data or information strongly supports a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a possible interpretation or contention, often to present a balanced view or a less definitive statement.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

补充

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

对比

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

因果

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

举例

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

让步

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

含让步关系的复合句

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

展现高级语法掌控力。以「虽然name」+相反观点开头,再陈述你的立场——体现细致入微的思考。

条件句(第二类)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

非常适合假设情景和解决方案。结构:「If + 过去式,would + 动词原形」——展现灵活性和想象力。

使用被动语态以name语气

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

name name倾向使用被动结构。「It is + 过去分词 + that」能营造权威、客观的语气。

关系从句

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

在不增加复杂度的前提下提升句子精密度。对人用「who」,对物用「which」,两者皆可用「that」。

名词短语增加信息密度

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

用更少的词承载更多信息。「有效政策的实施」对比「政策被有效实施」——提升name分数。

Step 6

task 满分范文(带批注)

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