In recent years, there has been an increase in health problems such as obesity and diabetes among young people. What are the causes of this trend and what measures could be taken to address it?
Sumulat ng **hindi bababa sa 250 na salita**. Maglaan ng ~40 minuto. Ito ay isang tunay na IELTS exam-style question.
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Step 1
IELTS Mga payo ng examiner para sa paksa na ito
For this question, your introduction should clearly state your perspective on the primary causes and the most impactful solutions, even though it's a problem/solution essay. While acknowledging that multiple factors contribute, explicitly identify the 2-3 causes you will focus on as most significant and the 2-3 measures you believe are most effective, maintaining this emphasis throughout your body paragraphs. To balance, briefly mention other less impactful factors or solutions, but immediately reinforce why your chosen points are more critical or sustainable.
When discussing causes, consider specific examples like the proliferation of ultra-processed foods and sugary beverages, alongside the rise of sedentary screen-based entertainment, which has replaced active play among young people. For solutions, you could reference the UK's 'sugar tax' on soft drinks as a government intervention, or the success of school-based initiatives that integrate daily physical activity and nutrition education, rather than just relying on generic 'healthy eating' advice.
A common pitfall for this question is providing a superficial list of causes and solutions without sufficient depth or specific examples. Students often mention 'unhealthy diet' and 'lack of exercise' without elaborating on *why* these have increased or *how* they specifically impact young people. To avoid this, select 2-3 distinct, well-developed causes (e.g., pervasive digital entertainment leading to sedentary habits, or aggressive marketing of unhealthy foods to children) and ensure your proposed measures directly correspond to and address these specific causes, demonstrating a clear cause-and-effect relationship.
To transition smoothly in this problem/solution essay with an underlying opinion, use clear signposting that moves from analysis to action. When shifting from discussing causes to proposing solutions, phrases like 'In light of these contributing factors,' or 'Consequently, addressing these pervasive issues requires...' are highly effective. Within your solution paragraphs, ensure logical progression using terms such as 'A primary measure would involve...' followed by 'Furthermore, complementary efforts must also focus on...' to connect your ideas cohesively.
For a band 8-9, examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the *interplay* between various causes, rather than just listing them. This means demonstrating how factors like digital media consumption, urban design, and food industry marketing collectively contribute to the problem, rather than just individual poor choices. Solutions should be multi-faceted and address systemic issues (e.g., regulatory frameworks, public health campaigns, educational reform) with specific, well-justified examples, showing a deep grasp of policy implications and societal impact, all while maintaining a consistent and well-supported argument.
Step 2
Inirerekomendang Isturktura ng Sanaysay (Band 7+ Standard)
1Panimula
Kumbinsihin agad ang examiner at ipakita ang iyong posisyon.
- Iparaphrase ang tanong gamit ang malalakas na sinonimo — iwasan ang kopya ng mga salita
- Ipaunawa nang malinaw ang iyong opinyon sa huling pangungusap — huwag mag-iiwan ng duda
- Panatilihin ito maikli: 2–3 pangungusap lamang. Bawat salita ay dapat may saysay.
Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata
It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...2Unang Talata — Pinakamalakas na Argumento Mo
Gumamit ng pinakamakapangyarihang rason na may hindi mapagtatagpuang ebidensya.
- Simulan sa malakas na paksang pangungusap — ipahayag ang iyong argumento nang may tapang
- Suportahan ng konkretong ebidensya: estadistika, tunay na kaso, o pananaliksik ng eksperto
- Ipaliwanag nang eksakto KUNG PAANO pinatutunayan ng ebidensya ang iyong punto — i-connect ang mga dots para sa examiner
Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata
The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...3Pangalawang Talata — Suportang Argumento
Palakasin ang iyong posisyon gamit ang komplementaryong pananaw.
- Pumili ng ibang anggulo — kung pang-ekonomiya ang una, subukan ang panlipunan, pangkapaligiran, o pang-etika
- Gamitin ang bagong ebidensya — iwasan ang pag-uulit ng parehong halimbawa o rason
- I-link nang direkta sa iyong thesis — ipakita kung paano ito palakasin ang buong posisyon mo
Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata
Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...4Konklusyon
Mag-iwan ng matibay na impresyon gamit ang tiyak at nakaaalala mong wakas.
- Huwag kailanman mag-introduce ng bagong ideya — ito ay iyong huling buod lamang
- I-ulit ang iyong posisyon gamit ang mas malakas na bokabularyo kaysa sa panimula
- Panatilihin itong makapangyarihan: 2 pangungusap lamang. Tapusin nang may awtoridad.
Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata
In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...Step 3
Mataas na markang bokabularyo at mga collocation
Step 4
Academic Phrases for This Essay Type
It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignoreDagdag
MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is moreKontrasta
HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConverselyDahilan / Epekto
ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads toHalimbawa
For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch asPagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran
AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedlyStep 5
Grammar Patterns for Band 7+
Kumplikadong pangungusap na may pagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran
Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.
Nagpapakita ng advanced na grammatical control. Simulan sa 'Although/While' + kabaligtarang pananaw, tapos ipahayag ang iyong posisyon — nagpapakita ng nuanced thinking.
Conditional (Type 2)
If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.
Perpekto para sa hypothetical na sitwasyon at solusyon. Struktura: 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — nagpapakita ng flexibility at imagination.
Passive para sa academic na tono
It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.
Academic writing ay pabor sa passive constructions. 'It is + past participle + that' ay lumilikha ng authoritative at objective na tono.
Relative clause
Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.
Nagdaragdag ng sophistication nang hindi komplikado. Gamitin ang 'who' para sa tao, 'which' para sa bagay, 'that' para sa alinman.
Noun phrase para sa density
The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.
Nakakapack ng higit na impormasyon sa mas kaunting salita. 'The implementation of effective policies' vs 'policies are implemented effectively' — tumataas ang Lexical Resource score.
Step 6
Band 9 Halimbawang sagot (buong na binigyan ng marka)
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