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Opinionacademic·2021

Some people believe that children are put under too much pressure to succeed at school. Parents and teachers should only focus on how well children can perform, not on their emotional well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Step 1

IELTS Examiner Tips for This Topic

1

For this question, you must state a clear position in your introduction, likely disagreeing with the idea that parents and teachers should *only* focus on performance. While acknowledging the importance of academic achievement, immediately pivot to argue that neglecting emotional well-being is short-sighted and ultimately counterproductive to true success.

2

To support your disagreement, consider arguments such as the necessity of holistic development for long-term success and well-being, the link between emotional health and sustained academic motivation, and the potential for severe mental health issues (e.g., anxiety, burnout) in high-pressure environments. You could reference educational systems like Finland's, which prioritize play and well-being, yet consistently rank high globally, or contrast this with the rising rates of student depression in highly competitive academic cultures.

3

The most common mistake students make on this question is failing to address the absolute qualifier 'only focus on' and instead discussing general pros and cons of academic pressure. Avoid sitting on the fence; the prompt's extreme stance ('only focus on performance, not on emotional well-being') demands a strong disagreement, arguing that such an approach is fundamentally flawed and unsustainable.

4

When structuring your arguments, use a 'concession and rebuttal' strategy. Start a paragraph by acknowledging the opposing view's merit (e.g., 'It is undeniable that academic achievement is crucial for future opportunities...'), then immediately introduce your counter-argument using phrases like 'However, this perspective overlooks the fundamental role of emotional resilience...' or 'Nevertheless, an exclusive focus on grades can inadvertently undermine...'.

5

Examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the complex interplay between academic pressure and child development for a band 8-9. This means demonstrating how emotional well-being is not merely a 'soft skill' but a foundational component for sustained academic performance, critical thinking, and overall life success. Use sophisticated vocabulary related to child psychology, educational philosophy, and long-term societal impacts, maintaining a consistent, well-supported argument throughout.

Step 2

Recommended Essay Structure (Band 7+ Standard)

1
Introduction

Hook the examiner and establish your position immediately.

  • Rephrase the question using powerful synonyms — avoid copying words
  • State your opinion clearly in the final sentence — leave no doubt
  • Keep it tight: 2-3 sentences max. Every word must earn its place.

Band 7+ sentence starters for each paragraph

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
Body Paragraph 1 — Your Strongest Argument

Make your most compelling case with undeniable evidence.

  • Start with a powerful topic sentence — state your argument boldly
  • Support with concrete evidence: statistics, real-world cases, or expert research
  • Explain exactly HOW your evidence proves your point — connect the dots for the examiner

Band 7+ sentence starters for each paragraph

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
Body Paragraph 2 — Supporting Argument

Strengthen your position with a complementary perspective.

  • Choose a different angle — if paragraph 1 was economic, try social, environmental, or ethical
  • Use fresh evidence — avoid repeating the same examples or reasoning
  • Explicitly link back to your thesis — show how this strengthens your overall position

Band 7+ sentence starters for each paragraph

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
Conclusion

Leave a lasting impression with a confident, memorable ending.

  • Never introduce new ideas — this is your final summary
  • Restate your position using stronger vocabulary than the introduction
  • Keep it powerful: 2 sentences max. End with authority.

Band 7+ sentence starters for each paragraph

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

High-Scoring Vocabulary & Collocations

Holistic developmentThe process of growth and learning that encompasses intellectual, emotional, social, and physical aspects of an individual.
Emotional well-beingA state of positive mental health, characterized by happiness, contentment, and resilience in facing life's challenges.
Academic rigorThe demanding and challenging nature of educational standards and curriculum, designed to foster deep learning and critical thinking.
A compelling argument can be madeA strong and convincing point or case can be presented.
This notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based or founded upon a particular principle or assumption.
Detrimental impactA harmful or damaging effect on something.
From my perspectiveIn my opinion; how I see the situation.
The evidence overwhelmingly suggestsThe data or facts strongly indicate a particular conclusion.
NotwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
This is not to say thatThis does not mean that; it should not be inferred that.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Addition

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Contrast

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Cause / Effect

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Example

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Concession

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Complex sentence with concession

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Shows advanced grammatical control. Start with 'Although/While' + opposing view, then state your position — demonstrates nuanced thinking.

Conditional (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Perfect for hypothetical scenarios and solutions. Structure: 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — shows flexibility and imagination.

Passive for academic tone

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing favors passive constructions. 'It is + past participle + that' creates authoritative, objective tone.

Relative clause

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Adds sophistication without complexity. Use 'who' for people, 'which' for things, 'that' for either.

Noun phrase for density

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Packs more information into fewer words. 'The implementation of effective policies' vs 'policies are implemented effectively' — boosts Lexical Resource score.

Step 6

Band 9 Model Answer (Fully Marked)

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