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Opinionacademic·2021

Some people believe that children are put under too much pressure to succeed at school. Parents and teachers should only focus on how well children can perform, not on their emotional well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Step 1

Consejos del examinador IELTS sobre este tema

1

For this question, you must state a clear position in your introduction, likely disagreeing with the idea that parents and teachers should *only* focus on performance. While acknowledging the importance of academic achievement, immediately pivot to argue that neglecting emotional well-being is short-sighted and ultimately counterproductive to true success.

2

To support your disagreement, consider arguments such as the necessity of holistic development for long-term success and well-being, the link between emotional health and sustained academic motivation, and the potential for severe mental health issues (e.g., anxiety, burnout) in high-pressure environments. You could reference educational systems like Finland's, which prioritize play and well-being, yet consistently rank high globally, or contrast this with the rising rates of student depression in highly competitive academic cultures.

3

The most common mistake students make on this question is failing to address the absolute qualifier 'only focus on' and instead discussing general pros and cons of academic pressure. Avoid sitting on the fence; the prompt's extreme stance ('only focus on performance, not on emotional well-being') demands a strong disagreement, arguing that such an approach is fundamentally flawed and unsustainable.

4

When structuring your arguments, use a 'concession and rebuttal' strategy. Start a paragraph by acknowledging the opposing view's merit (e.g., 'It is undeniable that academic achievement is crucial for future opportunities...'), then immediately introduce your counter-argument using phrases like 'However, this perspective overlooks the fundamental role of emotional resilience...' or 'Nevertheless, an exclusive focus on grades can inadvertently undermine...'.

5

Examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the complex interplay between academic pressure and child development for a band 8-9. This means demonstrating how emotional well-being is not merely a 'soft skill' but a foundational component for sustained academic performance, critical thinking, and overall life success. Use sophisticated vocabulary related to child psychology, educational philosophy, and long-term societal impacts, maintaining a consistent, well-supported argument throughout.

Step 2

Estructura recomendada para el ensayo (Band 7+ estándar)

1
Introducción

Atrae al evaluador y define tu postura desde el primer instante.

  • Reformula la pregunta con sinónimos contundentes — evita copiar palabras.
  • Expresa tu opinión con claridad en la última oración — no dejes dudas.
  • Manténla concisa: máximo 2-3 oraciones. Cada palabra debe justificar su lugar.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
Párrafo 1 — Tu argumento más fuerte

Plantea tu caso más convincente con pruebas irrefutables.

  • Comienza con una oración temática contundente — afirma tu postura con decisión.
  • Apóyala con evidencia concreta: estadísticas, casos reales o investigaciones de expertos.
  • Explica exactamente CÓMO tu evidencia respalda tu punto — haz las conexiones claras para el evaluador.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
Párrafo 2 — Argumento de apoyo

Refuerza tu postura con una perspectiva complementaria.

  • Elige un ángulo distinto — si el párrafo 1 fue económico, prueba con lo social, ambiental o ético.
  • Usa evidencia nueva — evita repetir ejemplos o razonamientos.
  • Vincula explícitamente con tu tesis — muestra cómo esto fortalece tu posición general.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
Conclusión

Deja una impresión duradera con un cierre seguro y memorable.

  • Nunca presentes ideas nuevas — esta es tu síntesis final.
  • Reafirma tu postura usando vocabulario más preciso que en la introducción.
  • Manténla contundente: máximo 2 oraciones. Termina con autoridad.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

Vocabulario y colocaciones de alto puntaje

Holistic developmentThe process of growth and learning that encompasses intellectual, emotional, social, and physical aspects of an individual.
Emotional well-beingA state of positive mental health, characterized by happiness, contentment, and resilience in facing life's challenges.
Academic rigorThe demanding and challenging nature of educational standards and curriculum, designed to foster deep learning and critical thinking.
A compelling argument can be madeA strong and convincing point or case can be presented.
This notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based or founded upon a particular principle or assumption.
Detrimental impactA harmful or damaging effect on something.
From my perspectiveIn my opinion; how I see the situation.
The evidence overwhelmingly suggestsThe data or facts strongly indicate a particular conclusion.
NotwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
This is not to say thatThis does not mean that; it should not be inferred that.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Adición

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Contraste

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Causa / efecto

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Ejemplo

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Concesión

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Oración compleja con concesión

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Demuestra control gramatical avanzado. Empieza con «Aunque/While» + opinión opuesta, luego expresa tu postura — muestra pensamiento matizado.

Condicional (tipo 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Ideal para escenarios hipotéticos y soluciones. Estructura: «Si + pretérito imperfecto del subjuntivo, condicional simple» — refleja flexibilidad e imaginación.

Voz pasiva para tono academic

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing prefiere construcciones pasivas. «Se + verbo en participio + que…» crea un tono autoritario y objetivo.

Cláusula relativa

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Agrega sofisticación sin complejidad. Usa «quien» para personas, «lo cual» para cosas, «que» para ambos.

Grupo nominal para densidad

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Transmite más información en menos palabras. «La implementación de políticas efectivas» vs «las políticas se implementan de forma efectiva» — mejora tu puntaje Lexical Resource.

Step 6

Respuesta modelo Band 9 (corregida completamente)

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