IELTS.international
Two-Partacademic·2020

In many parts of the world, children are having health problems due to being overweight. What are the causes of this problem? What measures should be taken to solve it?

Tulis **minimal 250 kata**. Luangkan waktu ~40 menit. Ini adalah soal ujian IELTS asli.

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Step 1

Tips Penguji IELTS untuk Topik Ini

1

Ensure you dedicate a distinct body paragraph to each part of the question: one for the causes of childhood obesity and another for the proposed solutions. For instance, Body Paragraph 1 could thoroughly explore the causes, while Body Paragraph 2 would then pivot to discuss the various measures to address these issues, ensuring a clear structure and full task response.

2

When discussing causes, you could cite the prevalence of ultra-processed foods and sugary beverages in Western diets, such as the pervasive fast-food culture in the US or the decline in physical education in schools globally. For solutions, consider examples like Singapore's "Healthy Meals in Schools Programme" or public health campaigns promoting active lifestyles, similar to those seen in Scandinavian countries.

3

A common mistake is to provide generic health advice that isn't specifically tailored to children or to conflate being overweight with general poor health without linking it directly to childhood obesity. Avoid simply listing 'eat less, exercise more'; instead, elaborate on *why* children are eating poorly (e.g., parental influence, marketing) and *why* they are less active (e.g., screen time, unsafe play areas), and then propose solutions that address these specific childhood contexts.

4

To transition smoothly from causes to solutions, use phrases that signal a shift from problem identification to proposed remedies. For example, after detailing the causes, you could begin the next paragraph with 'Given these underlying factors, a multi-pronged approach is essential to mitigate the rising rates of childhood obesity,' or 'Addressing these root causes necessitates a series of concerted efforts from various stakeholders.'

5

Examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the complex interplay of factors contributing to childhood obesity, moving beyond simplistic explanations to include socio-economic, cultural, and policy influences. A band 8-9 response will also present well-developed, practical, and varied solutions, demonstrating critical thinking by linking specific measures directly back to the identified causes and considering their feasibility and impact.

Step 2

Struktur Esai yang Direkomendasikan (Standar Band 7+)

1
Pendahuluan

Tarik perhatian pemeriksa dan langsung tegaskan posisimu.

  • Ulangi pertanyaan dengan sinonim yang kuat — hindari menyalin kata-kata
  • Nyatakan pendapatmu dengan jelas di kalimat terakhir — jangan ada keraguan
  • Buat singkat: maksimal 2-3 kalimat. Setiap kata harus punya nilai.

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
Paragraf Utama 1 — Argumen Terkuatmu

Sampaikan kasus terbaikmu dengan bukti yang tak terbantahkan.

  • Mulai dengan kalimat topik yang kuat — nyatakan argumenmu dengan berani
  • Dukung dengan bukti konkret: statistik, kasus nyata, atau riset ahli
  • Jelaskan BAGAIMANA buktimu membuktikan poinmu — hubungkan untuk pemeriksa

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
Paragraf Utama 2 — Argumen Pendukung

Perkuat posisimu dengan perspektif pelengkap.

  • Pilih sudut pandang berbeda — jika paragraf 1 ekonomi, coba sosial, lingkungan, atau etika
  • Gunakan bukti baru — hindari mengulang contoh atau alasan yang sama
  • Tautkan kembali ke tesismu dengan jelas — tunjukkan bagaimana ini memperkuat posisi keseluruhan

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
Kesimpulan

Tinggalkan kesan mendalam dengan penutup yang percaya diri dan berkesan.

  • Jangan perkenalkan ide baru — ini adalah ringkasan akhirmu
  • Ulangi posisimu dengan kosakata yang lebih kuat daripada pendahuluan
  • Buat tetap kuat: maksimal 2 kalimat. Akhiri dengan otoritas.

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

Kosakata & Kolokasi Skor Tinggi

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by much sitting and little physical activity.
nutritional deficienciesA lack of essential vitamins and minerals in the diet, often paradoxically found in overweight individuals consuming calorie-dense but nutrient-poor foods.
public health initiativesGovernment or community-led programs aimed at improving the health of a population.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea is based on or depends on.
from my perspectiveUsed to introduce a personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsUsed to indicate that there is a large amount of data supporting a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
it could be argued thatUsed to introduce a point that is debatable or one perspective among others.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Penambahan

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Kontras

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Sebab / Akibat

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Contoh

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Konsesi

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Kalimat kompleks dengan konsesi

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Tunjukkan kontrol tata bahasa tingkat lanjut. Mulai dengan 'Meskipun /While' + pandangan berlawanan, lalu nyatakan posisimu — tunjukkan pemikiran bernuansa.

Kondisional (Tipe 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Cocok untuk skenario dan solusi hipotetis. Struktur: 'Jika + past simple, would + infinitive' — tunjukkan fleksibilitas dan imajinasi.

Pasif untuk nada academic

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing lebih suka konstruksi pasif. 'It is + past participle + that' ciptakan nada otoritatif dan objektif.

Klausa relatif

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Tambahkan kecanggihan tanpa kompleksitas. Gunakan 'who' untuk orang, 'which' untuk benda, 'that' untuk keduanya.

Frasa kata benda untuk kepadatan

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Masukkan lebih banyak informasi dengan kata lebih sedikit. 'Implementasi kebijakan efektif' vs 'kebijakan diimplementasikan secara efektif' — tingkatkan skor Lexical Resource.

Step 6

Jawaban Model Band 9 (Telah Dinilai Lengkap)

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