IELTS.international
Two-Partacademic·2020

In many parts of the world, children are having health problems due to being overweight. What are the causes of this problem? What measures should be taken to solve it?

Sumulat ng **hindi bababa sa 250 na salita**. Maglaan ng ~40 minuto. Ito ay isang tunay na IELTS exam-style question.

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Step 1

IELTS Mga payo ng examiner para sa paksa na ito

1

Ensure you dedicate a distinct body paragraph to each part of the question: one for the causes of childhood obesity and another for the proposed solutions. For instance, Body Paragraph 1 could thoroughly explore the causes, while Body Paragraph 2 would then pivot to discuss the various measures to address these issues, ensuring a clear structure and full task response.

2

When discussing causes, you could cite the prevalence of ultra-processed foods and sugary beverages in Western diets, such as the pervasive fast-food culture in the US or the decline in physical education in schools globally. For solutions, consider examples like Singapore's "Healthy Meals in Schools Programme" or public health campaigns promoting active lifestyles, similar to those seen in Scandinavian countries.

3

A common mistake is to provide generic health advice that isn't specifically tailored to children or to conflate being overweight with general poor health without linking it directly to childhood obesity. Avoid simply listing 'eat less, exercise more'; instead, elaborate on *why* children are eating poorly (e.g., parental influence, marketing) and *why* they are less active (e.g., screen time, unsafe play areas), and then propose solutions that address these specific childhood contexts.

4

To transition smoothly from causes to solutions, use phrases that signal a shift from problem identification to proposed remedies. For example, after detailing the causes, you could begin the next paragraph with 'Given these underlying factors, a multi-pronged approach is essential to mitigate the rising rates of childhood obesity,' or 'Addressing these root causes necessitates a series of concerted efforts from various stakeholders.'

5

Examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the complex interplay of factors contributing to childhood obesity, moving beyond simplistic explanations to include socio-economic, cultural, and policy influences. A band 8-9 response will also present well-developed, practical, and varied solutions, demonstrating critical thinking by linking specific measures directly back to the identified causes and considering their feasibility and impact.

Step 2

Inirerekomendang Isturktura ng Sanaysay (Band 7+ Standard)

1
Panimula

Kumbinsihin agad ang examiner at ipakita ang iyong posisyon.

  • Iparaphrase ang tanong gamit ang malalakas na sinonimo — iwasan ang kopya ng mga salita
  • Ipaunawa nang malinaw ang iyong opinyon sa huling pangungusap — huwag mag-iiwan ng duda
  • Panatilihin ito maikli: 2–3 pangungusap lamang. Bawat salita ay dapat may saysay.

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
Unang Talata — Pinakamalakas na Argumento Mo

Gumamit ng pinakamakapangyarihang rason na may hindi mapagtatagpuang ebidensya.

  • Simulan sa malakas na paksang pangungusap — ipahayag ang iyong argumento nang may tapang
  • Suportahan ng konkretong ebidensya: estadistika, tunay na kaso, o pananaliksik ng eksperto
  • Ipaliwanag nang eksakto KUNG PAANO pinatutunayan ng ebidensya ang iyong punto — i-connect ang mga dots para sa examiner

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
Pangalawang Talata — Suportang Argumento

Palakasin ang iyong posisyon gamit ang komplementaryong pananaw.

  • Pumili ng ibang anggulo — kung pang-ekonomiya ang una, subukan ang panlipunan, pangkapaligiran, o pang-etika
  • Gamitin ang bagong ebidensya — iwasan ang pag-uulit ng parehong halimbawa o rason
  • I-link nang direkta sa iyong thesis — ipakita kung paano ito palakasin ang buong posisyon mo

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
Konklusyon

Mag-iwan ng matibay na impresyon gamit ang tiyak at nakaaalala mong wakas.

  • Huwag kailanman mag-introduce ng bagong ideya — ito ay iyong huling buod lamang
  • I-ulit ang iyong posisyon gamit ang mas malakas na bokabularyo kaysa sa panimula
  • Panatilihin itong makapangyarihan: 2 pangungusap lamang. Tapusin nang may awtoridad.

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

Mataas na markang bokabularyo at mga collocation

sedentary lifestyleA lifestyle characterized by much sitting and little physical activity.
nutritional deficienciesA lack of essential vitamins and minerals in the diet, often paradoxically found in overweight individuals consuming calorie-dense but nutrient-poor foods.
public health initiativesGovernment or community-led programs aimed at improving the health of a population.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea is based on or depends on.
from my perspectiveUsed to introduce a personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsUsed to indicate that there is a large amount of data supporting a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
it could be argued thatUsed to introduce a point that is debatable or one perspective among others.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Dagdag

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Kontrasta

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Dahilan / Epekto

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Halimbawa

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Pagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Kumplikadong pangungusap na may pagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Nagpapakita ng advanced na grammatical control. Simulan sa 'Although/While' + kabaligtarang pananaw, tapos ipahayag ang iyong posisyon — nagpapakita ng nuanced thinking.

Conditional (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Perpekto para sa hypothetical na sitwasyon at solusyon. Struktura: 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — nagpapakita ng flexibility at imagination.

Passive para sa academic na tono

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing ay pabor sa passive constructions. 'It is + past participle + that' ay lumilikha ng authoritative at objective na tono.

Relative clause

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Nagdaragdag ng sophistication nang hindi komplikado. Gamitin ang 'who' para sa tao, 'which' para sa bagay, 'that' para sa alinman.

Noun phrase para sa density

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Nakakapack ng higit na impormasyon sa mas kaunting salita. 'The implementation of effective policies' vs 'policies are implemented effectively' — tumataas ang Lexical Resource score.

Step 6

Band 9 Halimbawang sagot (buong na binigyan ng marka)

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