IELTS.international
Opinionacademic·2023

In many cities, crime is increasing. What are the causes and what can be done about it?

最低250語で書いてください。約40分かけてください。これは本番の 100 試験形式の質問です。

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Step 1

このトピックに関するIELTS 試験官のアドバイス

1

For this problem/solution essay, your 'position' in the introduction should clearly state the main causes you will explore and the general categories of solutions you will advocate for (e.g., socio-economic, judicial, community-based). Maintain this by consistently linking your proposed solutions directly back to the identified causes in subsequent paragraphs. To balance, you can briefly acknowledge the complexity of crime, noting that it stems from a confluence of factors, but then immediately pivot to focus on the most impactful causes and practical remedies you intend to elaborate on.

2

When discussing causes, consider socio-economic inequality, citing examples like rising youth unemployment or lack of educational opportunities in marginalized communities, which can drive individuals towards illicit activities out of desperation, as observed in some urban areas of developing nations. For solutions, you could suggest investment in preventative social programs, such as vocational training and mentorship initiatives for at-risk youth (e.g., similar to successful models in countries like Singapore or Finland that focus on early intervention), and also advocate for community policing models that build trust between law enforcement and residents, exemplified by initiatives in cities like New York or London.

3

The most common mistake students make on this question is providing a superficial list of causes and solutions without adequately explaining the causal links or the specific mechanisms through which solutions address the problems. Avoid this by dedicating each body paragraph to a specific cause and its corresponding solution, ensuring you clearly articulate *how* a particular cause leads to crime and *how* your proposed solution directly mitigates that specific cause or its effects. For instance, if discussing inadequate education, explain how it limits legitimate opportunities, leading to crime, and then propose specific educational reforms as a direct countermeasure.

4

For this essay type, use clear transition phrases to move from discussing a cause to proposing a solution, or from one cause/solution to another. Phrases like 'To mitigate this pervasive issue,' 'Addressing this particular challenge necessitates,' or 'Consequently, a viable solution involves...' can effectively bridge the gap between problem and remedy. When introducing additional points, use 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to these factors,' or 'Alongside these measures, it is crucial to consider...' to maintain logical flow.

5

Examiners look for a sophisticated understanding of the multifaceted nature of urban crime and its solutions, moving beyond simplistic explanations. A band 8-9 answer will demonstrate a clear analytical approach, linking specific socio-economic or systemic causes to particular types of crime or societal conditions, and proposing solutions that are not only practical but also address the root causes rather than just symptoms. This includes using precise, academic vocabulary to discuss judicial reforms, community engagement, and preventative strategies, alongside complex sentence structures that effectively convey nuanced arguments and demonstrate a strong command of cohesion and coherence.

Step 2

推奨エッセイ構成(Band 7+ スタンダード)

1
イントロダクション

採点官の興味を引き、すぐに自分の立場を明確に示しましょう。

  • 強力な類義語を使って質問を言い換える — 言葉をそのままコピーしない
  • 最終文で自分の意見を明確に述べる — 疑いの余地を残さない
  • 簡潔に:最大2〜3文。すべての単語に意味を持たせる。

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
ボディパラグラフ1 — 最強の論点

反論の余地のない証拠で、最も説得力のある主張を行う。

  • 力強いトピックセンテンスで始める — 自分の主張を大胆に述べる
  • 具体的な証拠(統計、実例、専門家の研究)で裏付ける
  • 証拠がどのように自分の主張を証明するのかを正確に説明する — 採点官に筋道を示す

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
ボディパラグラフ2 — 補足的な論点

補完的な視点で自分の立場を強化する。

  • 異なる角度を選ぶ — パラグラフ1が経済的なら、社会的、環境的、倫理的視点を試す
  • 新しい証拠を使う — 同じ例や論理を繰り返さない
  • 自分の主張に明示的に結びつける — これが全体の立場をどのように強化するかを示す

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
結論

自信に満ちた印象的な結びで、長く記憶に残る印象を与える。

  • 新しいアイデアを導入しない — これは最終的な要約である
  • イントロダクションよりも強い語彙を使って自分の立場を再提示する
  • 力強く:最大2文。権威を持って締めくくる。

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

高得点につながる語彙・コロケーション

socio-economic disparitySignificant differences in wealth, income, education, and opportunities among different groups within a society.
recidivism ratesThe tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend.
community policing initiativesA strategy of policing that focuses on building ties and working closely with members of the community.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea is based on or dependent upon.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase used to indicate that there is a large amount of strong proof supporting a particular idea.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
this is not to say thatA phrase used to clarify that a previous statement does not imply something else.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

追加

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

対比

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

原因 / 結果

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

例示

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

譲歩

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

譲歩を含む複文

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

高度な文法コントロールを示します。「Although/While」+ 反対の見解で始め、自分の立場を述べる — ニュアンスのある思考を示します。

条件法(タイプ2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

仮想的なシナリオや解決策に最適です。構造:「If + 過去形, would + 不定詞」 — 柔軟性と想像力を示します。

academicのための受動態

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writingは受動構文を好みます。「It is + 過去分詞 + that」は権威的で客観的なトーンを作ります。

関係節

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

複雑さを増さずに洗練さを加えます。「who」は人、「which」は物、「that」はどちらにも使います。

密度のための名詞句

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

より多くの情報を少ない言葉に詰め込みます。「効果的な政策の実施」対「政策は効果的に実施される」 — Lexical Resourceスコアを向上させます。

Step 6

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