IELTS.international
Opinionacademic·2023

In many cities, crime is increasing. What are the causes and what can be done about it?

**최소 250단어** 이상 작성하세요. 약 40분을 할애하세요. 실제 IELTS 시험 스타일의 문제입니다.

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Step 1

이 주제에 대한 IELTS 시험관 팁

1

For this problem/solution essay, your 'position' in the introduction should clearly state the main causes you will explore and the general categories of solutions you will advocate for (e.g., socio-economic, judicial, community-based). Maintain this by consistently linking your proposed solutions directly back to the identified causes in subsequent paragraphs. To balance, you can briefly acknowledge the complexity of crime, noting that it stems from a confluence of factors, but then immediately pivot to focus on the most impactful causes and practical remedies you intend to elaborate on.

2

When discussing causes, consider socio-economic inequality, citing examples like rising youth unemployment or lack of educational opportunities in marginalized communities, which can drive individuals towards illicit activities out of desperation, as observed in some urban areas of developing nations. For solutions, you could suggest investment in preventative social programs, such as vocational training and mentorship initiatives for at-risk youth (e.g., similar to successful models in countries like Singapore or Finland that focus on early intervention), and also advocate for community policing models that build trust between law enforcement and residents, exemplified by initiatives in cities like New York or London.

3

The most common mistake students make on this question is providing a superficial list of causes and solutions without adequately explaining the causal links or the specific mechanisms through which solutions address the problems. Avoid this by dedicating each body paragraph to a specific cause and its corresponding solution, ensuring you clearly articulate *how* a particular cause leads to crime and *how* your proposed solution directly mitigates that specific cause or its effects. For instance, if discussing inadequate education, explain how it limits legitimate opportunities, leading to crime, and then propose specific educational reforms as a direct countermeasure.

4

For this essay type, use clear transition phrases to move from discussing a cause to proposing a solution, or from one cause/solution to another. Phrases like 'To mitigate this pervasive issue,' 'Addressing this particular challenge necessitates,' or 'Consequently, a viable solution involves...' can effectively bridge the gap between problem and remedy. When introducing additional points, use 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to these factors,' or 'Alongside these measures, it is crucial to consider...' to maintain logical flow.

5

Examiners look for a sophisticated understanding of the multifaceted nature of urban crime and its solutions, moving beyond simplistic explanations. A band 8-9 answer will demonstrate a clear analytical approach, linking specific socio-economic or systemic causes to particular types of crime or societal conditions, and proposing solutions that are not only practical but also address the root causes rather than just symptoms. This includes using precise, academic vocabulary to discuss judicial reforms, community engagement, and preventative strategies, alongside complex sentence structures that effectively convey nuanced arguments and demonstrate a strong command of cohesion and coherence.

Step 2

권장 에세이 구조 (Band 7+ 표준)

1
소개

시험관의 관심을 끌고 즉시 본인의 입장을 확실히 밝히세요.

  • 강력한 동의어를 사용해 질문을 재구성하세요 — 단어를 그대로 복사하지 마세요
  • 마지막 문장에서 본인의 의견을 명확히 밝히세요 — 의심의 여지가 없도록
  • 간결하게: 최대 2-3문장. 모든 단어가 제 역할을 해야 합니다.

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
본문 1단락 — 가장 강력한 주장

반박할 수 없는 근거로 가장 설득력 있는 주장을 펼치세요.

  • 강력한 주제문으로 시작하세요 — 주장을 당당하게 밝히세요
  • 구체적인 근거로 뒷받침하세요: 통계, 실제 사례, 전문가 연구
  • 근거가 어떻게 주장을 뒷받침하는지 정확히 설명하세요 — 시험관을 위해 논리를 연결하세요

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
본문 2단락 — 보조 주장

보완적인 관점으로 입장을 강화하세요.

  • 다른 각도를 선택하세요 — 1단락이 경제적이었다면 사회적, 환경적, 윤리적 접근을 시도하세요
  • 새로운 근거를 사용하세요 — 같은 예시나 논리를 반복하지 마세요
  • 본인의 논지로 명시적으로 연결하세요 — 이것이 전체 입장을 어떻게 강화하는지 보여주세요

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
결론

자신감 있고 기억에 남는 마무리로 지속적인 인상을 남기세요.

  • 새로운 아이디어를 도입하지 마세요 — 이것은 최종 요약입니다
  • 소개보다 더 강력한 어휘를 사용해 본인의 입장을 재진술하세요
  • 강력하게: 최대 2문장. 권위 있게 끝내세요.

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

고득점 어휘 & 연어

socio-economic disparitySignificant differences in wealth, income, education, and opportunities among different groups within a society.
recidivism ratesThe tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend.
community policing initiativesA strategy of policing that focuses on building ties and working closely with members of the community.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea is based on or dependent upon.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal viewpoint or opinion.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase used to indicate that there is a large amount of strong proof supporting a particular idea.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
this is not to say thatA phrase used to clarify that a previous statement does not imply something else.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

추가

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

대조

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

원인 / 결과

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

예시

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

양보

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

양보절이 포함된 복잡한 문장

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

고급 문법 통제력을 보여줍니다. 'Althoughname' + 반대 의견으로 시작한 후 본인의 입장을 밝히세요 — 미묘한 사고를 보여줍니다.

조건문 (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

가상 시나리오와 해결책에 완벽합니다. 구조: 'If + 과거 단순형, would + 원형 부정사' — 유연성과 상상력을 보여줍니다.

name 톤을 위한 수동태

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

score name는 수동 구문을 선호합니다. 'It is + 과거 분사 + that'는 권위 있고 객관적인 톤을 만듭니다.

관계절

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

복잡함 없이 정교함을 더합니다. 사람은 'who', 사물은 'which', 둘 다는 'that'을 사용하세요.

밀도를 위한 명사구

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

더 적은 단어에 더 많은 정보를 담습니다. '효과적인 정책의 시행' vs '정책이 효과적으로 시행된다' — name 점수를 높입니다.

Step 6

Band 9 모범 답안 (완전 채점됨)

무료 가입으로 전체 모범 답안과 시험관 코멘트를 확인하세요.

전체 모범 답안 보기 — 무료 가입

실제 IELTS 시험처럼 연습하세요

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