IELTS.international
Discussionacademic·2022

Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Step 1

このトピックに関するIELTS 試験官のアドバイス

1

Dedicate one full body paragraph to thoroughly discuss each of the two opposing views presented in the question. For instance, your first body paragraph should explore arguments for increasing sports facilities, while the second should focus on why this might have little effect and what other measures are needed. This ensures a balanced discussion before you present your own opinion in the conclusion, avoiding a one-sided argument.

2

When discussing the benefits of sports facilities, consider examples like Singapore's extensive 'Sports Hub' initiatives which integrate community spaces with athletic venues, fostering participation. For the counter-argument, you could mention the effectiveness of public health campaigns (e.g., '5-a-day' fruit and vegetable promotion) or policy interventions like sugar taxes in the UK or Mexico, which directly address dietary habits rather than just providing exercise opportunities.

3

The most common mistake students make on this specific question is failing to adequately develop the 'other measures are required' side of the argument, or only superficially discussing why sports facilities might have 'little effect'. To avoid this, ensure your second body paragraph clearly articulates *why* facilities alone aren't enough (e.g., lack of motivation, time, cost, or the dominance of unhealthy diets) and then propose concrete alternative solutions like health education, urban planning for walkability, or food policy.

4

For this discussion essay, employ clear transitional phrases between paragraphs to guide the examiner through your argument. Start your first body paragraph with a phrase like 'Proponents of increasing sports facilities argue that...' and your second with 'Conversely, others contend that this approach alone is insufficient...' In your conclusion, introduce your personal opinion using phrases such as 'Having considered both perspectives, I am inclined to believe that...' to clearly signal your stance.

5

Examiners look for a nuanced understanding of the public health dilemma, demonstrating that you grasp the complexity beyond a simple 'either/or' choice. A band 8-9 answer will not only discuss both views comprehensively but also integrate them in the conclusion to form a sophisticated personal opinion, perhaps suggesting a multi-pronged approach. Precision in vocabulary (e.g., 'sedentary lifestyles,' 'preventative healthcare,' 'urban infrastructure') and a consistent, clear argument flow are crucial.

Step 2

推奨エッセイ構成(Band 7+ スタンダード)

1
イントロダクション

両側を公平に提示し、自分の立場を確立することで熟練度を示す。

  • 両方の視点を理解していることを示す — これは批判的思考を示す
  • どちら側に傾いているかを述べる — 両方を同等に議論している場合でも
  • 中立的で客観的なトーンを保つ — 感情的な言葉や偏りを避ける

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

There are differing opinions on whether...While some people believe that..., others argue that...This essay will examine both perspectives before reaching a conclusion.
2
ボディパラグラフ1 — 最初の視点

敬意と信頼性を持って一方の側を提示する。

  • たとえ同意しなくても、実際の例を使ってこの見解を誠実に提示する
  • 客観的な報告表現を使う:『研究によると…』、『調査は示している…』、『専門家は主張する…』
  • 長所を認める — これはバランスの取れた分析を示し、得点につながる

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that...Those in favour point out that...A key argument for this position is...
3
ボディパラグラフ2 — 反対の視点

反対意見も同じ深みと洗練さで提示しましょう。

  • 第1段落の構造と深さに合わせてください — 試験官は比較します
  • 対比的な接続詞を使いましょう:『逆に』、『対照的に』、『一方で』
  • 意見がある場合は、この段落を少し強くしましょう — ただし公平さは保って

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

On the other hand, critics contend that...However, there is a strong counter-argument...Conversely, many people feel that...
4
結論

両方の見解を統合し、決定的な判断を下しましょう。

  • 両方の側の妥当性を認めましょう — これは知的な成熟度を示します
  • 自分の好みを明確かつ自信を持って述べましょう — 曖昧にしないで
  • 明確な立場を取りましょう — 試験官は曖昧さより明確さを評価します

各パラグラフのBand 7+ センテンススターター

In conclusion, while both sides have merit, I believe that...Having considered both arguments, it seems that...

Step 3

高得点につながる語彙・コロケーション

public health initiativesOrganized efforts by governments or communities to improve the health of a population.
sedentary lifestylesWays of living that involve little to no physical activity, often characterized by prolonged sitting.
preventative healthcareMeasures taken to prevent diseases rather than curing them or treating their symptoms.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and convincing point or reason.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based or dependent on a particular assumption or principle.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase indicating that there is a large amount of data or proof supporting a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a possible argument or point of view, often to present an alternative or counter-argument.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

追加

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

対比

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

原因 / 結果

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

例示

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

譲歩

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

譲歩を含む複文

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

高度な文法コントロールを示します。「Although/While」+ 反対の見解で始め、自分の立場を述べる — ニュアンスのある思考を示します。

条件法(タイプ2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

仮想的なシナリオや解決策に最適です。構造:「If + 過去形, would + 不定詞」 — 柔軟性と想像力を示します。

academicのための受動態

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writingは受動構文を好みます。「It is + 過去分詞 + that」は権威的で客観的なトーンを作ります。

関係節

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

複雑さを増さずに洗練さを加えます。「who」は人、「which」は物、「that」はどちらにも使います。

密度のための名詞句

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

より多くの情報を少ない言葉に詰め込みます。「効果的な政策の実施」対「政策は効果的に実施される」 — Lexical Resourceスコアを向上させます。

Step 6

Band 9 モデルアンサー(完全採点付き)

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