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Discussionacademic·2021

Some people think that the main aim of punishment is to teach the wrong-doer right from wrong and make him lead a normal life in future. Others, however, believe that punishing someone is the best way to send a message to other criminals not to commit crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write **at least 250 words**. Spend ~40 minutes. This is a real IELTS exam-style question.

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Step 1

IELTS Examiner Tips for This Topic

1

Dedicate one full body paragraph to each of the two distinct views presented in the question: one on punishment as rehabilitation and another on punishment as a deterrent. This structured approach ensures you address both sides thoroughly and avoid being perceived as too one-sided, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' essay.

2

To strengthen your arguments, consider specific examples. For rehabilitation, you could mention restorative justice programs in countries like New Zealand or Norway, which focus on reintegration and reduced recidivism. For deterrence, discuss the strict penal codes in Singapore or the ongoing debate around capital punishment in some regions, highlighting their intended impact on potential offenders.

3

A common mistake on this question is failing to clearly differentiate between the two aims of punishment, often blending them or focusing disproportionately on one. To avoid this, use clear topic sentences for each body paragraph that explicitly state which view you are discussing, ensuring a balanced and well-structured argument.

4

Employ a clear linking strategy to guide the reader through your discussion. Start your second body paragraph with a phrase like 'Conversely, another school of thought posits that...' or 'While the aforementioned perspective focuses on individual reform, a different viewpoint emphasizes...' to signal the shift to the opposing argument.

5

For a band 8-9 answer, examiners look for a nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexities of both views, supported by precise vocabulary related to criminology and justice (e.g., 'recidivism,' 'penal reform,' 'societal retribution,' 'general deterrence'). Your personal opinion in the conclusion should not simply choose one view but ideally offer a sophisticated synthesis or prioritize one aim with clear justification, demonstrating critical thinking.

Step 2

Recommended Essay Structure (Band 7+ Standard)

1
Introduction

Show mastery by presenting both sides fairly and establishing your stance.

  • Demonstrate understanding of BOTH perspectives — this shows critical thinking
  • State which side you lean toward — even if you're discussing both equally
  • Maintain neutral, academic tone — avoid emotional language or bias

Band 7+ sentence starters for each paragraph

There are differing opinions on whether...While some people believe that..., others argue that...This essay will examine both perspectives before reaching a conclusion.
2
Body Paragraph 1 — First Viewpoint

Present one side with respect and credibility.

  • Even if you disagree, present this view authentically with real examples
  • Use academic reporting language: 'Research indicates...', 'Studies show...', 'Experts argue...'
  • Acknowledge strengths — this demonstrates balanced analysis and earns marks

Band 7+ sentence starters for each paragraph

On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that...Those in favour point out that...A key argument for this position is...
3
Body Paragraph 2 — Opposing Viewpoint

Present the counter-argument with equal depth and sophistication.

  • Match the structure and depth of paragraph 1 — examiners compare them
  • Use contrasting transition words: 'Conversely', 'In contrast', 'On the other hand'
  • If you have an opinion, make this paragraph slightly stronger — but stay fair

Band 7+ sentence starters for each paragraph

On the other hand, critics contend that...However, there is a strong counter-argument...Conversely, many people feel that...
4
Conclusion

Synthesize both views and deliver your decisive judgment.

  • Acknowledge validity of both sides — this shows intellectual maturity
  • State your preference clearly and confidently — don't hedge or waffle
  • Take a firm position — examiners reward clarity over fence-sitting

Band 7+ sentence starters for each paragraph

In conclusion, while both sides have merit, I believe that...Having considered both arguments, it seems that...

Step 3

High-Scoring Vocabulary & Collocations

recidivism ratesThe proportion of convicted criminals who re-offend after being released from prison.
rehabilitative measuresActions or programs designed to help offenders reintegrate into society and lead law-abiding lives.
general deterrenceThe theory that punishing offenders discourages others from committing similar crimes.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a commonly accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based on or depends on.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsThere is a great deal of proof or data indicating a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to present a viewpoint or a possible interpretation without fully committing to it, or to introduce a counter-argument.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Addition

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Contrast

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Cause / Effect

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Example

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Concession

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Complex sentence with concession

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Shows advanced grammatical control. Start with 'Although/While' + opposing view, then state your position — demonstrates nuanced thinking.

Conditional (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Perfect for hypothetical scenarios and solutions. Structure: 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — shows flexibility and imagination.

Passive for academic tone

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing favors passive constructions. 'It is + past participle + that' creates authoritative, objective tone.

Relative clause

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Adds sophistication without complexity. Use 'who' for people, 'which' for things, 'that' for either.

Noun phrase for density

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Packs more information into fewer words. 'The implementation of effective policies' vs 'policies are implemented effectively' — boosts Lexical Resource score.

Step 6

Band 9 Model Answer (Fully Marked)

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