IELTS.international
Discussionacademic·2021

Some people think that the main aim of punishment is to teach the wrong-doer right from wrong and make him lead a normal life in future. Others, however, believe that punishing someone is the best way to send a message to other criminals not to commit crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Step 1

Consejos del examinador IELTS sobre este tema

1

Dedicate one full body paragraph to each of the two distinct views presented in the question: one on punishment as rehabilitation and another on punishment as a deterrent. This structured approach ensures you address both sides thoroughly and avoid being perceived as too one-sided, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' essay.

2

To strengthen your arguments, consider specific examples. For rehabilitation, you could mention restorative justice programs in countries like New Zealand or Norway, which focus on reintegration and reduced recidivism. For deterrence, discuss the strict penal codes in Singapore or the ongoing debate around capital punishment in some regions, highlighting their intended impact on potential offenders.

3

A common mistake on this question is failing to clearly differentiate between the two aims of punishment, often blending them or focusing disproportionately on one. To avoid this, use clear topic sentences for each body paragraph that explicitly state which view you are discussing, ensuring a balanced and well-structured argument.

4

Employ a clear linking strategy to guide the reader through your discussion. Start your second body paragraph with a phrase like 'Conversely, another school of thought posits that...' or 'While the aforementioned perspective focuses on individual reform, a different viewpoint emphasizes...' to signal the shift to the opposing argument.

5

For a band 8-9 answer, examiners look for a nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexities of both views, supported by precise vocabulary related to criminology and justice (e.g., 'recidivism,' 'penal reform,' 'societal retribution,' 'general deterrence'). Your personal opinion in the conclusion should not simply choose one view but ideally offer a sophisticated synthesis or prioritize one aim with clear justification, demonstrating critical thinking.

Step 2

Estructura recomendada para el ensayo (Band 7+ estándar)

1
Introducción

Demuestra dominio al presentar ambos lados con equidad y definir tu postura.

  • Muestra comprensión de AMBAS posturas — eso refleja pensamiento crítico.
  • Indica claramente hacia qué lado te inclinas — incluso si analizas ambos por igual.
  • Mantén un tono neutral — evita lenguaje emocional o sesgos.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

There are differing opinions on whether...While some people believe that..., others argue that...This essay will examine both perspectives before reaching a conclusion.
2
Párrafo 1 — Primera postura

Presenta un lado con respeto y credibilidad.

  • Incluso si no estás de acuerdo, expón esta visión con autenticidad y ejemplos reales.
  • Usa lenguaje impersonal de citación: «La investigación indica…», «Estudios muestran…», «Expertos argumentan…».
  • Reconoce sus fortalezas — eso demuestra análisis equilibrado y suma puntos.

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that...Those in favour point out that...A key argument for this position is...
3
Párrafo del cuerpo 2 — Punto de vista opuesto

Presente el contraargumento con la misma profundidad y sofisticación.

  • Ajuste la estructura y profundidad del párrafo 1 — los examinadores los comparan
  • Use conectores de contraste: «Por otro lado», «En cambio», «Sin embargo»
  • Si tiene una opinión, refuércela ligeramente en este párrafo — pero mantenga la imparcialidad

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

On the other hand, critics contend that...However, there is a strong counter-argument...Conversely, many people feel that...
4
Conclusión

Integre ambas posturas y emita su juicio definitivo.

  • Reconozca la validez de ambos lados — esto demuestra madurez intelectual
  • Indique claramente su preferencia, con seguridad — no use evasivas ni ambigüedades
  • Tome una postura firme — los examinadores valoran la claridad más que la indecisión

Inicio de oraciones Band 7+ para cada párrafo

In conclusion, while both sides have merit, I believe that...Having considered both arguments, it seems that...

Step 3

Vocabulario y colocaciones de alto puntaje

recidivism ratesThe proportion of convicted criminals who re-offend after being released from prison.
rehabilitative measuresActions or programs designed to help offenders reintegrate into society and lead law-abiding lives.
general deterrenceThe theory that punishing offenders discourages others from committing similar crimes.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a commonly accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based on or depends on.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsThere is a great deal of proof or data indicating a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to present a viewpoint or a possible interpretation without fully committing to it, or to introduce a counter-argument.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Adición

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Contraste

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Causa / efecto

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Ejemplo

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Concesión

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Oración compleja con concesión

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Demuestra control gramatical avanzado. Empieza con «Aunque/While» + opinión opuesta, luego expresa tu postura — muestra pensamiento matizado.

Condicional (tipo 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Ideal para escenarios hipotéticos y soluciones. Estructura: «Si + pretérito imperfecto del subjuntivo, condicional simple» — refleja flexibilidad e imaginación.

Voz pasiva para tono academic

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing prefiere construcciones pasivas. «Se + verbo en participio + que…» crea un tono autoritario y objetivo.

Cláusula relativa

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Agrega sofisticación sin complejidad. Usa «quien» para personas, «lo cual» para cosas, «que» para ambos.

Grupo nominal para densidad

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Transmite más información en menos palabras. «La implementación de políticas efectivas» vs «las políticas se implementan de forma efectiva» — mejora tu puntaje Lexical Resource.

Step 6

Respuesta modelo Band 9 (corregida completamente)

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