IELTS.international
Discussionacademic·2021

Some people think that the main aim of punishment is to teach the wrong-doer right from wrong and make him lead a normal life in future. Others, however, believe that punishing someone is the best way to send a message to other criminals not to commit crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Step 1

Tips Penguji IELTS untuk Topik Ini

1

Dedicate one full body paragraph to each of the two distinct views presented in the question: one on punishment as rehabilitation and another on punishment as a deterrent. This structured approach ensures you address both sides thoroughly and avoid being perceived as too one-sided, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' essay.

2

To strengthen your arguments, consider specific examples. For rehabilitation, you could mention restorative justice programs in countries like New Zealand or Norway, which focus on reintegration and reduced recidivism. For deterrence, discuss the strict penal codes in Singapore or the ongoing debate around capital punishment in some regions, highlighting their intended impact on potential offenders.

3

A common mistake on this question is failing to clearly differentiate between the two aims of punishment, often blending them or focusing disproportionately on one. To avoid this, use clear topic sentences for each body paragraph that explicitly state which view you are discussing, ensuring a balanced and well-structured argument.

4

Employ a clear linking strategy to guide the reader through your discussion. Start your second body paragraph with a phrase like 'Conversely, another school of thought posits that...' or 'While the aforementioned perspective focuses on individual reform, a different viewpoint emphasizes...' to signal the shift to the opposing argument.

5

For a band 8-9 answer, examiners look for a nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexities of both views, supported by precise vocabulary related to criminology and justice (e.g., 'recidivism,' 'penal reform,' 'societal retribution,' 'general deterrence'). Your personal opinion in the conclusion should not simply choose one view but ideally offer a sophisticated synthesis or prioritize one aim with clear justification, demonstrating critical thinking.

Step 2

Struktur Esai yang Direkomendasikan (Standar Band 7+)

1
Pendahuluan

Tunjukkan penguasaan dengan menyajikan kedua sisi secara adil dan menegaskan pendirianmu.

  • Tunjukkan pemahaman tentang KEDUA perspektif — ini menunjukkan pemikiran kritis
  • Nyatakan sisi mana yang kamu condongi — bahkan jika kamu membahas keduanya secara setara
  • Pertahankan nada yang netral — hindari bahasa emosional atau bias

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

There are differing opinions on whether...While some people believe that..., others argue that...This essay will examine both perspectives before reaching a conclusion.
2
Paragraf Utama 1 — Sudut Pandang Pertama

Sajikan satu sisi dengan hormat dan kredibilitas.

  • Bahkan jika tidak setuju, sajikan pandangan ini dengan otentik menggunakan contoh nyata
  • Gunakan bahasa pelaporan yang netral: 'Penelitian menunjukkan...', 'Studi membuktikan...', 'Para ahli berpendapat...'
  • Akui kelebihannya — ini menunjukkan analisis seimbang dan dapat nilai

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that...Those in favour point out that...A key argument for this position is...
3
Paragraf Utama 2 — Sudut Pandang Berlawanan

Sajikan argumen tandingan dengan kedalaman dan kecanggihan yang setara.

  • Sesuaikan struktur dan kedalaman paragraf 1 — penguji membandingkannya
  • Gunakan kata transisi kontras: 'Sebaliknya', 'Sebagai kontras', 'Di sisi lain'
  • Jika kamu punya opini, buat paragraf ini sedikit lebih kuat — tapi tetap adil

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

On the other hand, critics contend that...However, there is a strong counter-argument...Conversely, many people feel that...
4
Kesimpulan

Sintesiskan kedua pandangan dan berikan penilaianmu yang tegas.

  • Akui validitas kedua sisi — ini menunjukkan kedewasaan intelektual
  • Nyatakan preferensimu dengan jelas dan percaya diri — jangan ragu-ragu
  • Ambil posisi yang tegas — penguji menghargai kejelasan daripada duduk di pagar

Kalimat pembuka Band 7+ untuk setiap paragraf

In conclusion, while both sides have merit, I believe that...Having considered both arguments, it seems that...

Step 3

Kosakata & Kolokasi Skor Tinggi

recidivism ratesThe proportion of convicted criminals who re-offend after being released from prison.
rehabilitative measuresActions or programs designed to help offenders reintegrate into society and lead law-abiding lives.
general deterrenceThe theory that punishing offenders discourages others from committing similar crimes.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a commonly accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based on or depends on.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsThere is a great deal of proof or data indicating a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to present a viewpoint or a possible interpretation without fully committing to it, or to introduce a counter-argument.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Penambahan

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Kontras

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Sebab / Akibat

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Contoh

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Konsesi

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Kalimat kompleks dengan konsesi

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Tunjukkan kontrol tata bahasa tingkat lanjut. Mulai dengan 'Meskipun /While' + pandangan berlawanan, lalu nyatakan posisimu — tunjukkan pemikiran bernuansa.

Kondisional (Tipe 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Cocok untuk skenario dan solusi hipotetis. Struktur: 'Jika + past simple, would + infinitive' — tunjukkan fleksibilitas dan imajinasi.

Pasif untuk nada academic

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing lebih suka konstruksi pasif. 'It is + past participle + that' ciptakan nada otoritatif dan objektif.

Klausa relatif

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Tambahkan kecanggihan tanpa kompleksitas. Gunakan 'who' untuk orang, 'which' untuk benda, 'that' untuk keduanya.

Frasa kata benda untuk kepadatan

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Masukkan lebih banyak informasi dengan kata lebih sedikit. 'Implementasi kebijakan efektif' vs 'kebijakan diimplementasikan secara efektif' — tingkatkan skor Lexical Resource.

Step 6

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