IELTS.international
Discussionacademic·2021

Some people think that the main aim of punishment is to teach the wrong-doer right from wrong and make him lead a normal life in future. Others, however, believe that punishing someone is the best way to send a message to other criminals not to commit crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sumulat ng **hindi bababa sa 250 na salita**. Maglaan ng ~40 minuto. Ito ay isang tunay na IELTS exam-style question.

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Step 1

IELTS Mga payo ng examiner para sa paksa na ito

1

Dedicate one full body paragraph to each of the two distinct views presented in the question: one on punishment as rehabilitation and another on punishment as a deterrent. This structured approach ensures you address both sides thoroughly and avoid being perceived as too one-sided, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' essay.

2

To strengthen your arguments, consider specific examples. For rehabilitation, you could mention restorative justice programs in countries like New Zealand or Norway, which focus on reintegration and reduced recidivism. For deterrence, discuss the strict penal codes in Singapore or the ongoing debate around capital punishment in some regions, highlighting their intended impact on potential offenders.

3

A common mistake on this question is failing to clearly differentiate between the two aims of punishment, often blending them or focusing disproportionately on one. To avoid this, use clear topic sentences for each body paragraph that explicitly state which view you are discussing, ensuring a balanced and well-structured argument.

4

Employ a clear linking strategy to guide the reader through your discussion. Start your second body paragraph with a phrase like 'Conversely, another school of thought posits that...' or 'While the aforementioned perspective focuses on individual reform, a different viewpoint emphasizes...' to signal the shift to the opposing argument.

5

For a band 8-9 answer, examiners look for a nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexities of both views, supported by precise vocabulary related to criminology and justice (e.g., 'recidivism,' 'penal reform,' 'societal retribution,' 'general deterrence'). Your personal opinion in the conclusion should not simply choose one view but ideally offer a sophisticated synthesis or prioritize one aim with clear justification, demonstrating critical thinking.

Step 2

Inirerekomendang Isturktura ng Sanaysay (Band 7+ Standard)

1
Panimula

Ipakita ang galing sa pamamagitan ng patas na pagpapakita ng parehong panig at pagtatakda ng iyong posisyon.

  • Ipakita ang pag-unawa sa PAREHONG pananaw — ito ang nagpapakita ng critical thinking
  • Sabihin kung alin sa dalawa ang pinapanigan mo — kahit sabihin mo lang na pareho kayong tinatalakay
  • Panatilihin ang neutral na tono — iwasan ang emosyonal na lenguahe o bias

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

There are differing opinions on whether...While some people believe that..., others argue that...This essay will examine both perspectives before reaching a conclusion.
2
Unang Talata — Unang Pananaw

Ipresenta ang isang panig nang may respeto at kredibilidad.

  • Kahit na hindi ka sang-ayon, ipresenta ito nang totoo kasama ang tunay na halimbawa
  • Gamitin ang neutral na reporting language: «Nagpapahiwatig ng pananaliksik...», «Itinuturo ng mga pag-aaral...», «Inaangkin ng mga eksperto...»
  • Tanggapin ang mga lakas nito — ipinapakita nito ang balanseng analisis at nakakakuha ng puntos

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that...Those in favour point out that...A key argument for this position is...
3
Pangalawang Talata — Kasalungat na Pananaw

Ipresenta ang kontra-argumento nang may parehong lalim at kahusayan.

  • Sundin ang istruktura at lalim ng Unang Talata — pinaghahambing ng mga examiner ang dalawa
  • Gamitin ang mga salitang pang-ugnay na nagpapakita ng pagkakaiba: «Kasalungat», «Sa kabilang banda», «Sa ibang panig»
  • Kung may opinyon ka, gawin ang talatang ito nang bahagyang mas malakas — pero manatiling patas

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

On the other hand, critics contend that...However, there is a strong counter-argument...Conversely, many people feel that...
4
Konklusyon

Buoin ang parehong pananaw at ipahayag ang iyong malinaw na penomeno.

  • Tanggapin ang katotohanan ng parehong panig — ito ang nagpapakita ng kaisipang nakabatay sa karanasan
  • Ipaunawa nang malinaw at may tiwala ang iyong panigan — huwag magduda o magpabaya
  • Kumuha ng matatag na posisyon — pinahahalagahan ng mga examiner ang kalinawan kaysa sa pag-iwas sa desisyon

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

In conclusion, while both sides have merit, I believe that...Having considered both arguments, it seems that...

Step 3

Mataas na markang bokabularyo at mga collocation

recidivism ratesThe proportion of convicted criminals who re-offend after being released from prison.
rehabilitative measuresActions or programs designed to help offenders reintegrate into society and lead law-abiding lives.
general deterrenceThe theory that punishing offenders discourages others from committing similar crimes.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a commonly accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based on or depends on.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsThere is a great deal of proof or data indicating a particular conclusion.
notwithstandingDespite; in spite of.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to present a viewpoint or a possible interpretation without fully committing to it, or to introduce a counter-argument.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Dagdag

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Kontrasta

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Dahilan / Epekto

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Halimbawa

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Pagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Kumplikadong pangungusap na may pagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Nagpapakita ng advanced na grammatical control. Simulan sa 'Although/While' + kabaligtarang pananaw, tapos ipahayag ang iyong posisyon — nagpapakita ng nuanced thinking.

Conditional (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Perpekto para sa hypothetical na sitwasyon at solusyon. Struktura: 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — nagpapakita ng flexibility at imagination.

Passive para sa academic na tono

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing ay pabor sa passive constructions. 'It is + past participle + that' ay lumilikha ng authoritative at objective na tono.

Relative clause

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Nagdaragdag ng sophistication nang hindi komplikado. Gamitin ang 'who' para sa tao, 'which' para sa bagay, 'that' para sa alinman.

Noun phrase para sa density

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Nakakapack ng higit na impormasyon sa mas kaunting salita. 'The implementation of effective policies' vs 'policies are implemented effectively' — tumataas ang Lexical Resource score.

Step 6

Band 9 Halimbawang sagot (buong na binigyan ng marka)

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