Some people think that the main aim of punishment is to teach the wrong-doer right from wrong and make him lead a normal life in future. Others, however, believe that punishing someone is the best way to send a message to other criminals not to commit crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sumulat ng **hindi bababa sa 250 na salita**. Maglaan ng ~40 minuto. Ito ay isang tunay na IELTS exam-style question.
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Step 1
IELTS Mga payo ng examiner para sa paksa na ito
Dedicate one full body paragraph to each of the two distinct views presented in the question: one on punishment as rehabilitation and another on punishment as a deterrent. This structured approach ensures you address both sides thoroughly and avoid being perceived as too one-sided, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' essay.
To strengthen your arguments, consider specific examples. For rehabilitation, you could mention restorative justice programs in countries like New Zealand or Norway, which focus on reintegration and reduced recidivism. For deterrence, discuss the strict penal codes in Singapore or the ongoing debate around capital punishment in some regions, highlighting their intended impact on potential offenders.
A common mistake on this question is failing to clearly differentiate between the two aims of punishment, often blending them or focusing disproportionately on one. To avoid this, use clear topic sentences for each body paragraph that explicitly state which view you are discussing, ensuring a balanced and well-structured argument.
Employ a clear linking strategy to guide the reader through your discussion. Start your second body paragraph with a phrase like 'Conversely, another school of thought posits that...' or 'While the aforementioned perspective focuses on individual reform, a different viewpoint emphasizes...' to signal the shift to the opposing argument.
For a band 8-9 answer, examiners look for a nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexities of both views, supported by precise vocabulary related to criminology and justice (e.g., 'recidivism,' 'penal reform,' 'societal retribution,' 'general deterrence'). Your personal opinion in the conclusion should not simply choose one view but ideally offer a sophisticated synthesis or prioritize one aim with clear justification, demonstrating critical thinking.
Step 2
Inirerekomendang Isturktura ng Sanaysay (Band 7+ Standard)
1Panimula
Ipakita ang galing sa pamamagitan ng patas na pagpapakita ng parehong panig at pagtatakda ng iyong posisyon.
- Ipakita ang pag-unawa sa PAREHONG pananaw — ito ang nagpapakita ng critical thinking
- Sabihin kung alin sa dalawa ang pinapanigan mo — kahit sabihin mo lang na pareho kayong tinatalakay
- Panatilihin ang neutral na tono — iwasan ang emosyonal na lenguahe o bias
Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata
There are differing opinions on whether...While some people believe that..., others argue that...This essay will examine both perspectives before reaching a conclusion.2Unang Talata — Unang Pananaw
Ipresenta ang isang panig nang may respeto at kredibilidad.
- Kahit na hindi ka sang-ayon, ipresenta ito nang totoo kasama ang tunay na halimbawa
- Gamitin ang neutral na reporting language: «Nagpapahiwatig ng pananaliksik...», «Itinuturo ng mga pag-aaral...», «Inaangkin ng mga eksperto...»
- Tanggapin ang mga lakas nito — ipinapakita nito ang balanseng analisis at nakakakuha ng puntos
Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata
On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that...Those in favour point out that...A key argument for this position is...3Pangalawang Talata — Kasalungat na Pananaw
Ipresenta ang kontra-argumento nang may parehong lalim at kahusayan.
- Sundin ang istruktura at lalim ng Unang Talata — pinaghahambing ng mga examiner ang dalawa
- Gamitin ang mga salitang pang-ugnay na nagpapakita ng pagkakaiba: «Kasalungat», «Sa kabilang banda», «Sa ibang panig»
- Kung may opinyon ka, gawin ang talatang ito nang bahagyang mas malakas — pero manatiling patas
Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata
On the other hand, critics contend that...However, there is a strong counter-argument...Conversely, many people feel that...4Konklusyon
Buoin ang parehong pananaw at ipahayag ang iyong malinaw na penomeno.
- Tanggapin ang katotohanan ng parehong panig — ito ang nagpapakita ng kaisipang nakabatay sa karanasan
- Ipaunawa nang malinaw at may tiwala ang iyong panigan — huwag magduda o magpabaya
- Kumuha ng matatag na posisyon — pinahahalagahan ng mga examiner ang kalinawan kaysa sa pag-iwas sa desisyon
Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata
In conclusion, while both sides have merit, I believe that...Having considered both arguments, it seems that...Step 3
Mataas na markang bokabularyo at mga collocation
Step 4
Academic Phrases for This Essay Type
It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignoreDagdag
MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is moreKontrasta
HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConverselyDahilan / Epekto
ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads toHalimbawa
For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch asPagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran
AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedlyStep 5
Grammar Patterns for Band 7+
Kumplikadong pangungusap na may pagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran
Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.
Nagpapakita ng advanced na grammatical control. Simulan sa 'Although/While' + kabaligtarang pananaw, tapos ipahayag ang iyong posisyon — nagpapakita ng nuanced thinking.
Conditional (Type 2)
If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.
Perpekto para sa hypothetical na sitwasyon at solusyon. Struktura: 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — nagpapakita ng flexibility at imagination.
Passive para sa academic na tono
It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.
Academic writing ay pabor sa passive constructions. 'It is + past participle + that' ay lumilikha ng authoritative at objective na tono.
Relative clause
Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.
Nagdaragdag ng sophistication nang hindi komplikado. Gamitin ang 'who' para sa tao, 'which' para sa bagay, 'that' para sa alinman.
Noun phrase para sa density
The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.
Nakakapack ng higit na impormasyon sa mas kaunting salita. 'The implementation of effective policies' vs 'policies are implemented effectively' — tumataas ang Lexical Resource score.
Step 6
Band 9 Halimbawang sagot (buong na binigyan ng marka)
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