IELTS.international
Two-Partacademic·2022

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

**최소 250단어** 이상 작성하세요. 약 40분을 할애하세요. 실제 IELTS 시험 스타일의 문제입니다.

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Step 1

이 주제에 대한 IELTS 시험관 팁

1

Many candidates lose marks by disproportionately focusing on either causes or solutions. For this two-part question, dedicate a distinct body paragraph to each aspect: one thoroughly exploring the main causes of crime, and another equally detailed paragraph outlining practical solutions to address those identified causes. Ensure your introduction clearly signposts that you will discuss both, and your conclusion summarises both sets of points, maintaining a balanced approach throughout the essay.

2

When discussing causes, consider the role of technology in facilitating new forms of crime, such as cyber fraud, identity theft, or the dark web's role in illicit trade, which are increasingly prevalent in developed nations like the UK or USA. For solutions, you could propose enhanced digital forensics capabilities, international cooperation for cybercrime enforcement (e.g., Interpol's cybercrime unit), or public awareness campaigns (like those in Singapore) to educate citizens on online safety and reporting mechanisms.

3

The most common mistake on this question, especially when linking to technology, is to provide a superficial list of causes and solutions without sufficient development or explanation of the *link* to increasing crime rates. Avoid simply stating 'technology causes crime' or 'technology can solve crime.' Instead, elaborate on *how* specific technological advancements enable criminal activity (e.g., encryption for illicit communication, ease of data theft) or *how* technological solutions directly mitigate those specific causes (e.g., blockchain for secure transactions, advanced surveillance for evidence collection).

4

For a two-part question, effective transitions between the 'causes' and 'solutions' paragraphs are crucial. After concluding your paragraph on causes, begin the next with a clear linking phrase such as 'Having examined the principal factors contributing to rising crime rates, it is imperative to consider viable strategies to mitigate these issues.' Alternatively, you could use 'In light of these prevalent causes, a multi-faceted approach involving both technological and societal interventions is required to address the escalating crime problem effectively.' This clearly signals the shift in focus while maintaining coherence.

5

Examiners look for a sophisticated understanding of the complex interplay between technology and crime, moving beyond simplistic cause-and-effect. A band 8-9 essay will present nuanced arguments, acknowledging both the ways technology facilitates crime and its potential as a tool for prevention and enforcement. This includes using precise, academic vocabulary to discuss digital forensics, cyber security, data privacy, and ethical considerations, alongside well-developed, specific examples that illustrate the points convincingly, demonstrating a deep engagement with the topic.

Step 2

권장 에세이 구조 (Band 7+ 표준)

1
소개

시험관의 관심을 끌고 즉시 본인의 입장을 확실히 밝히세요.

  • 강력한 동의어를 사용해 질문을 재구성하세요 — 단어를 그대로 복사하지 마세요
  • 마지막 문장에서 본인의 의견을 명확히 밝히세요 — 의심의 여지가 없도록
  • 간결하게: 최대 2-3문장. 모든 단어가 제 역할을 해야 합니다.

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
본문 1단락 — 가장 강력한 주장

반박할 수 없는 근거로 가장 설득력 있는 주장을 펼치세요.

  • 강력한 주제문으로 시작하세요 — 주장을 당당하게 밝히세요
  • 구체적인 근거로 뒷받침하세요: 통계, 실제 사례, 전문가 연구
  • 근거가 어떻게 주장을 뒷받침하는지 정확히 설명하세요 — 시험관을 위해 논리를 연결하세요

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
본문 2단락 — 보조 주장

보완적인 관점으로 입장을 강화하세요.

  • 다른 각도를 선택하세요 — 1단락이 경제적이었다면 사회적, 환경적, 윤리적 접근을 시도하세요
  • 새로운 근거를 사용하세요 — 같은 예시나 논리를 반복하지 마세요
  • 본인의 논지로 명시적으로 연결하세요 — 이것이 전체 입장을 어떻게 강화하는지 보여주세요

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
결론

자신감 있고 기억에 남는 마무리로 지속적인 인상을 남기세요.

  • 새로운 아이디어를 도입하지 마세요 — 이것은 최종 요약입니다
  • 소개보다 더 강력한 어휘를 사용해 본인의 입장을 재진술하세요
  • 강력하게: 최대 2문장. 권위 있게 끝내세요.

각 단락별 Band 7+ 문장 시작 표현

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

고득점 어휘 & 연어

cyber fraudCriminal activity involving the use of computers or the internet to deceive or defraud individuals or organisations.
digital forensicsThe branch of forensic science encompassing the recovery and investigation of material found in digital devices, often in relation to computer crime.
illicit online marketplacesWebsites or platforms operating on the internet, often on the dark web, used for illegal trade of goods and services.
it is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
a compelling argument can be madeUsed to introduce a strong and persuasive point or reason.
this notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based on or depends fundamentally on.
from my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or viewpoint.
the evidence overwhelmingly suggestsUsed to indicate that there is a very strong amount of proof supporting a particular claim.
notwithstandingIn spite of; despite. Used to introduce a contrasting or qualifying point.
it could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a potential argument or viewpoint, often to present a balanced perspective or a less definitive claim.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

추가

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

대조

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

원인 / 결과

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

예시

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

양보

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

양보절이 포함된 복잡한 문장

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

고급 문법 통제력을 보여줍니다. 'Althoughname' + 반대 의견으로 시작한 후 본인의 입장을 밝히세요 — 미묘한 사고를 보여줍니다.

조건문 (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

가상 시나리오와 해결책에 완벽합니다. 구조: 'If + 과거 단순형, would + 원형 부정사' — 유연성과 상상력을 보여줍니다.

name 톤을 위한 수동태

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

score name는 수동 구문을 선호합니다. 'It is + 과거 분사 + that'는 권위 있고 객관적인 톤을 만듭니다.

관계절

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

복잡함 없이 정교함을 더합니다. 사람은 'who', 사물은 'which', 둘 다는 'that'을 사용하세요.

밀도를 위한 명사구

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

더 적은 단어에 더 많은 정보를 담습니다. '효과적인 정책의 시행' vs '정책이 효과적으로 시행된다' — name 점수를 높입니다.

Step 6

Band 9 모범 답안 (완전 채점됨)

무료 가입으로 전체 모범 답안과 시험관 코멘트를 확인하세요.

전체 모범 답안 보기 — 무료 가입

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