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Two-Partacademic·2024

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Sumulat ng **hindi bababa sa 250 na salita**. Maglaan ng ~40 minuto. Ito ay isang tunay na IELTS exam-style question.

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Step 1

IELTS Mga payo ng examiner para sa paksa na ito

1

For this two-part question, dedicate a distinct body paragraph to each part of the prompt. Body Paragraph 1 should thoroughly explore the reasons why criminals re-offend, while Body Paragraph 2 must focus entirely on the specific measures that can be taken to tackle this problem. Failing to address both questions adequately is a common reason for losing marks on Task Response.

2

When discussing reasons for re-offending, consider factors like the lack of effective rehabilitation programmes in prisons, socio-economic disadvantages post-release (e.g., difficulty finding employment, societal stigma), and the influence of criminal networks. For measures, you could refer to successful models like Norway's focus on restorative justice and vocational training within prisons, or the importance of robust post-release support systems to aid reintegration into society.

3

A common pitfall is to oversimplify the issue by blaming only the individual or suggesting overly simplistic solutions like 'harsher punishments.' Avoid this by acknowledging the multifaceted nature of recidivism, considering both systemic failures (e.g., inadequate rehabilitation) and individual challenges (e.g., addiction, lack of skills). Present nuanced arguments that reflect a deeper understanding of the problem.

4

Ensure a smooth and logical transition between your discussion of causes and solutions. A strong linking phrase at the start of your second body paragraph could be: 'Having explored the underlying reasons for the persistence of criminal behaviour, it is imperative to now consider the proactive measures required to mitigate this societal challenge.' This clearly signals to the examiner that you are moving to the next part of the question.

5

Examiners look for a comprehensive and nuanced discussion that goes beyond surface-level observations. A band 8-9 response will demonstrate a sophisticated understanding of both the psychological and sociological factors contributing to recidivism, and propose well-reasoned, practical, and multi-faceted solutions. The language used should be precise, academic, and demonstrate a wide range of topic-specific vocabulary, alongside complex grammatical structures used accurately.

Step 2

Inirerekomendang Isturktura ng Sanaysay (Band 7+ Standard)

1
Panimula

Kumbinsihin agad ang examiner at ipakita ang iyong posisyon.

  • Iparaphrase ang tanong gamit ang malalakas na sinonimo — iwasan ang kopya ng mga salita
  • Ipaunawa nang malinaw ang iyong opinyon sa huling pangungusap — huwag mag-iiwan ng duda
  • Panatilihin ito maikli: 2–3 pangungusap lamang. Bawat salita ay dapat may saysay.

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

It is often argued that...There is a growing debate about whether...In my view, ... because ...
2
Unang Talata — Pinakamalakas na Argumento Mo

Gumamit ng pinakamakapangyarihang rason na may hindi mapagtatagpuang ebidensya.

  • Simulan sa malakas na paksang pangungusap — ipahayag ang iyong argumento nang may tapang
  • Suportahan ng konkretong ebidensya: estadistika, tunay na kaso, o pananaliksik ng eksperto
  • Ipaliwanag nang eksakto KUNG PAANO pinatutunayan ng ebidensya ang iyong punto — i-connect ang mga dots para sa examiner

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

The primary reason I hold this view is that...This is clearly illustrated by...For instance, in many countries...
3
Pangalawang Talata — Suportang Argumento

Palakasin ang iyong posisyon gamit ang komplementaryong pananaw.

  • Pumili ng ibang anggulo — kung pang-ekonomiya ang una, subukan ang panlipunan, pangkapaligiran, o pang-etika
  • Gamitin ang bagong ebidensya — iwasan ang pag-uulit ng parehong halimbawa o rason
  • I-link nang direkta sa iyong thesis — ipakita kung paano ito palakasin ang buong posisyon mo

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

Furthermore, it is worth considering that...Another compelling argument is that...This is further supported by the fact that...
4
Konklusyon

Mag-iwan ng matibay na impresyon gamit ang tiyak at nakaaalala mong wakas.

  • Huwag kailanman mag-introduce ng bagong ideya — ito ay iyong huling buod lamang
  • I-ulit ang iyong posisyon gamit ang mas malakas na bokabularyo kaysa sa panimula
  • Panatilihin itong makapangyarihan: 2 pangungusap lamang. Tapusin nang may awtoridad.

Band 7 Mga simula ng pangungusap para sa bawat talata

In conclusion, I firmly believe that...To sum up, the evidence clearly suggests that...

Step 3

Mataas na markang bokabularyo at mga collocation

RecidivismThe tendency of a convicted criminal to re-offend.
Punitive measuresActions intended as punishment; disciplinary actions.
Rehabilitation programmesStructured interventions designed to help offenders reintegrate into society as law-abiding citizens.
It is widely acknowledged thatA phrase used to introduce a generally accepted fact or belief.
A compelling argument can be madeA phrase used to introduce a strong and persuasive point.
This notion is predicated onThis idea or concept is based on or depends on.
From my perspectiveA phrase used to introduce one's personal opinion or viewpoint.
The evidence overwhelmingly suggestsA phrase used to indicate that there is a great deal of proof supporting a particular conclusion.
NotwithstandingIn spite of; despite.
It could be argued thatA phrase used to introduce a possible interpretation or contention, often to present a balanced view.

Step 4

Academic Phrases for This Essay Type

It is widely acknowledged thatThere is compelling evidence to suggestThis phenomenon can be attributed toA growing body of research indicatesThe implications of this are far-reachingThis raises important questions aboutFrom a broader perspectiveIt would be short-sighted to ignore

Dagdag

MoreoverFurthermoreIn additionWhat is more

Kontrasta

HoweverNeverthelessOn the other handConversely

Dahilan / Epekto

ConsequentlyAs a resultThereforeThis leads to

Halimbawa

For instanceTo illustrateA case in point isSuch as

Pagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran

AlthoughWhile it is true thatDespiteAdmittedly

Step 5

Grammar Patterns for Band 7+

Kumplikadong pangungusap na may pagsang-ayon sa kabaliktaran

Although some argue that technology isolates people, the evidence suggests it strengthens connections.

Nagpapakita ng advanced na grammatical control. Simulan sa 'Although/While' + kabaligtarang pananaw, tapos ipahayag ang iyong posisyon — nagpapakita ng nuanced thinking.

Conditional (Type 2)

If governments invested more in public transport, traffic congestion would decrease significantly.

Perpekto para sa hypothetical na sitwasyon at solusyon. Struktura: 'If + past simple, would + infinitive' — nagpapakita ng flexibility at imagination.

Passive para sa academic na tono

It is often argued that education should be free. However, this view overlooks the practical challenges.

Academic writing ay pabor sa passive constructions. 'It is + past participle + that' ay lumilikha ng authoritative at objective na tono.

Relative clause

Students who study abroad, which is becoming increasingly common, tend to develop greater independence.

Nagdaragdag ng sophistication nang hindi komplikado. Gamitin ang 'who' para sa tao, 'which' para sa bagay, 'that' para sa alinman.

Noun phrase para sa density

The rapid expansion of urban areas has led to increased pollution levels.

Nakakapack ng higit na impormasyon sa mas kaunting salita. 'The implementation of effective policies' vs 'policies are implemented effectively' — tumataas ang Lexical Resource score.

Step 6

Band 9 Halimbawang sagot (buong na binigyan ng marka)

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